Lady, why the man you’ve been close to is suddenly avoiding you

Lady, has the man you've been close to suddenly become out of reach? Do you feel you are suddenly begging for his attention? The reasons why could be:

1. "He is moving on"
This is so especially after you've broken-up. No matter how much you agree you be friends, things won’t be as close and cosy as they used to be.

2. "He doesn't want to break your relationship/ marriage"
If it's a man of values developing feelings for you but you are already taken, he will keep off you because he doesn't want to covet another man's woman.

3. "You made him beg for your attention too much"
It's OK to play hard to get, but do it for too long and the man will get bored and leave because a man wants to feel he is making progress; then you will notice he doesn't give you the attention you were used to. He will become the one hard to get, and you the one begging for his attention.

4. "He knows you're cheating on him"
When a man knows you are cheating on him, he might leave you there and then or strip you off the benefits he had exclusively given to you until the day he will catch you in the act of cheating and make you pay. He will become political with you and maybe look for a strategy that will punish you and make him eject out of your life with dignity and pride.

5. "He is genuinely busy"
Sometimes a man might be out of reach for a while because he is sincerely busy, he still loves you and will make time for you soon.

6. "You are a nag, a bore, a pain, a headache"
A man will avoid you if you make his life miserable, if you keep picking fights, ever complaining.

7. "There is someone new"
Unless he is a player, it is difficult for a man to multi-task. There is normally that one lady a man is giving attention to. If his focus is no longer on you, his attention could be targeting another lady.

8. "You belittle him"
Tell a man he is not man enough, mock him that he has little money or success, that he cannot pay bills, take you to fancy places, he has no car or has a pathetic car, tell him he is a nobody compared to other men, remind him of his failures and how least extravagant and unhappy your life is with him; and he will avoid you. A man loves to be around a woman who is an oasis of encouragement that believes in him, a woman who brings out the king he is.

9. "You are a cry baby"
Men love to be Superman to the woman. But if you keep playing the damsel in distress, ever playing the victim, ever negative, ever low, ever in need of saving; he will get bored and tired. He will stop seeing you as a woman but an immature girl who blows up all her problems in order to get attention. A man wants to be there for you but he also wants you to hold your own, he wants you to be Superwoman to him too because sometimes he also needs saving.

10. "He sees no future with you"
You two may have enjoyed some time together, but perhaps after much thought he has come to realize you two don't have a future. So he will tell you and slowly reduce the closeness.

11. "He sees you as a threat to his marriage/ relationship"
When a good man notices he is increasingly becoming attracted to you and yet he has a woman/ wife, he will stop everything that might bring you two closer.

12. "You are not stimulating and challenging as before"
People grow, the man and woman must grow together or else one day, one will find the other immature in thinking. When a man grows intellectually, professionally, socially, spiritually and the woman lags behind, he might begin having deeper conversations with other people who are at his level of reasoning and not her.

13. "He is cheating"
When a man is cheating on you, his unfaithfulness brings about guilt, and that guilt will make him avoid you because he can't face the woman he is stabbing behind her back.

14. "You don't let him love you"
If you will make a man your lover, give him the chance to love you, give him the position but also the function. Bring down your walls, be lovable; when he feels you don't need him he might walk away, maybe even find a woman who will need him. Be an independent woman, but dependent on him for love.

15. "He got what he wanted"
If all he was after was your sex or your money, he will leave as soon as he gets that. You will no longer be of use.

16. "He silently needs you"
He could be going through something, he could be facing a dark chapter in his life and doesn't know how to call for help and so he hides. He needs you to reach out to him.

17. "He is tired of having an affair"
You two could have been having an exciting affair but he has outgrown it.

18. "You make it always about you"
When you make the bond between you two always about you, about your point of view, your way or no way at all; if you make it always about your needs alone, he will get tired. He also wants you to ask him how he is, he also wants attention and love.

19. "His purpose in your life has come to a close"
Some good people come into a life for a season. He could have been a good man who came to bless your life, to teach you, to be there for you or maybe for you to impact his life and then you two part; maybe to re-unite later in life or just remain etched in memory.

20. "He is listening to other voices"
His mother, his father, his friends could be manipulating him to spend less time with you, to handle you in a certain way, to be a "man" and so you don't feel his attention like you used to.

21. "He has no money"
He could be having no money like before to come see you as often if you stay far away or to phone call you for long or as often. His ego might keep him from telling you he is broke at the moment. But the truth is, if he could, he would come to you or call your phone call till you have too much of him.

22. "He wants a break-up"
Maybe he wants out, he wants to quit on you but has no guts to tell you. He will make your life uncomfortable so that you be the one who breaks-up with him, not him breaking-up with you. It's part of his break-up plan.

23. "He is a stupid coward"
If he has impregnated you, messed up and doesn't want to take responsibility, he will run as far away from you as he can.

24. "You are in a hurry"
He might have feelings for you or even love you but if you are rushing him to love or to take the relationship to the next level or rushing him to marriage; he might avoid you and let you go so that you find a man who is in a hurry just like you.

25. "You are just being insecure"
You could be insecure and failing to understand yet he really loves you and nothing has changed. You could be seeing your own things but the reality is, he is not avoiding you and never will avoid you.

© Dayan Masinde

In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I talk about the secret issues men go through and the needs of a man.

In my other book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I talk about how a woman can discover herself and discern men.

To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.