I do hope that time has been kind to you love. I also hope that you are hale and hearty.You are probably smiling or simply in awe right now. You are looking at me the younger and more naïve self.
As you may or not remember you were 20 years old when you wrote this. I am building this time capsule as a way to remind you of who you were when you turned the big 20. I will go deeper on how much you were love sick. Yes. Matters of the heart.
At this age you had given up on love. You were away from love but wanted to be in love. You loved love but love did not love you? Sucks, right? Sigh!
You knew who you wanted and for some weird reason you ended up with them. Nothing serious or long though. You had weekly crushes. “Who-is-it-this-week” your friends would kid. You were never in love, you were in love with the idea of the person and frankly that is the worst way to love someone.
Basically you had the most awesome sad love stories. You were that girl who had her heart broken by a guy that you never even dated. Got cheated on and still stuck around, bought him gifts and took him for lunch dates trying to look like Ms. Independent. But I think you just did not want to seem too needy. But really it is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, movies, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for your time.
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Many are times your love was awakened without them having the intention of truly loving you. They were all typical men who were after the same thing and the few who hang around because you was pretty as hell *tongue- in-cheek*. And you would cry yourself to bed.
I hope that you have found that humble and smart, fun and romantic, sensitive and gentle, and above all supportive guy. He looks you in the eye and tells you that you are beautiful and that you complete him. He is vulnerable enough to cry when he is hurting, he introduce(d/s) you to his mother with a smile, who loves children and cats ?, and who is willing to change diapers and cook without having to ask you. And if he has a nice body and a lot of money and expensive shoes without scuffs, that would be great too. I hope that he plays with your hair not with your heart.
Or maybe your happy ending does/did not include a guy, maybe it is you, on your own. Build your own empire, driving fancy cars, dressing classy and travelling all over the world and of course be that face on telly. May be deep down you are that Ms. Independent. Its either you get that PERFECT out of this world guy (Nothing less) or be that independent mama. No in betweens love. No tears. Be happy. Smirk!
Love forever.
Your younger, not-so-together, sad and single, yet doing the best she can and hopeful self.
