To men, sex is just sex. They do not place any value on it. Marriage sex, relationship sex and casual sex are all the same to them. They know they are valuable and that their worth is not affected by their sex lives and yet women spend all their lives worrying about body counts and placing all their self-worth on the number of people they have slept with.
I do not know what it is about having a body count of two that grants women respect. They all claim to have slept with their first boyfriend and their immediate ex when they are getting into talking stages and that number remains constant even though we all know it is a lie.
I do not see what the huge difference is between sleeping with 50 different men on different occasions and sleeping with the same man 50 times. Apart from it happening with only one person, it does not change the fact that you had sex 50 times. And yet, women feel the need to lie about it. And men too, expect you to lie to them. Most of them have sex indiscriminately but weirdly enough they have a preference for virgins.
The consequence of this is that women suffer in love and in flings because they somehow can't untie their worthiness to sex. They give every man they encounter the power to judge them by putting too much importance into how they are perceived. Sometimes, they complicate casual sex by trying to attach some meaning into it for the gain of dignity as if there was any difference between having sex within a relationship and in having it outside of one. At the end of the day, every sexual encounter enjoyed outside the confines of marriage is all infidelity. I will never understand why we must be so disingenuous and prudish about it.
I understand societal pressure, slut shaming, and the influence of religion in promoting purity culture as the ideal way of life. Purity culture, though, would dictate that we all marry as virgins and that does not happen. I don't even think it happens anymore anywhere else apart from cultures where girls are married off at ten. We continue to lie about body counts because we are a society full of people who are hypocritical enough to think there's a kind of sex that is more moral than the other.
Someone does not lose their self-respect when they have a one-night stand and I would want women to understand that. Your value as a person is intrinsic. It cannot be taken away by another person simply because they went down on you. We give men too much power to determine what is moral for us when they do not abide by those morals themselves.
You are allowed to reject casual sex on the basis that sex isn't just sex for you but pegging your whole self-worth to your sexual partners is playing yourself. Moreover, thinking you have to give men a reason to devalue you is willingly lying to yourself. Just have sex freely and let the world judge you for having pleasure. It is a form of self-hate to place yourself in a box of purity that does not come with any gold medals or cash prizes.
