How to handle a coworker who acts like your boss

Bossy coworkers are common in today’s workspace. They excessively scrutinize your work, order you around, talk over you in meetings and constantly checks in.

It must be frustrating when you are on the receiving end of this unpleasant peer. Working in the Covid era is tough on its own. Dealing with a bossy coworker day in day out adds to the frustration.

While some may not even realise it because they are blinded by their high ambitions and urge to move projects forward, others are just bullies. People who share their opinion as facts. Their need to control others or make themselves look better can be a source of unhappiness in the office.

What do the experts say?

Management professor Jenny Chatman relates such behaviour on a person’s level of internal anxiety and their need to control situations. If your coworker’s behaviour is bossy, do not take it personally.

It is not about you but rather about their own mental situation. They may actually be excellent at what they do. They may be among the company’s top performers. However, their bossy behaviour may affect others and impede productivity.

Want to create a more even playing field?

Enforce healthy boundaries.

This is one of the surest ways to nip this behaviour in the bud. It helps a whole lot when you have different job descriptions.

This way, you only reduce the workload based on your job titles. Your predetermined responsibilities will help impede their disobliging demands. Despite having different job descriptions, you are bound to interact at some point. It is important to involve the boss to discuss your workload and the transparent boundaries you set.

Once your manager validates your set boundaries, the wannabe will not have any basis to impose their bossy attitude. The upfront agreements will limit the time you get to interact. Keep things strictly business and avoid unnecessary chitchat.

Evaluate their triggers

Not all bossy colleagues are the same. On one hand, you may have a bossy coworker who just has high standards and likes to exercise some level of control. You can actually learn a thing or two from such individuals if are attentive to their concerns.

On the other hand, there are those who have malice in their actions. Their bossy behaviour is not for the good of the workplace or their target individual. With such individuals, it is better to act than to react to their behaviour.

Do not sit and wait for them to set the agenda. This will only make you react to what they set. Instead, take control of what you do. Have your facts right and document your work.

Act rationally

Bossy coworkers crave for attention. It is not easy to ignore someone who wants to dictate the room and own the boardroom brainstorming sessions. Since dealing with them can cause friction, you have to keep your emotions in check when dealing with them. Keep your cool to get in a good headspace before you respond to them.

Experienced managers like Andres Lares advice that keeping emotions in check makes you more rational to drive a positive outcome. Shouting back things like, “That’s not my job”, may put you in bad light. Retaliating by barking back could get the conversation get out of hand and even cost your job. When a bossy colleague wants to pile work that doesn’t fall under you, a more positive retort like, “I have my plate full right now; let me direct you to someone who can assist you” sounds better.

You will have acknowledged them and politely declined what they are imposing on you.

Stay firm

Do not be a push over. When you feel they are taking advantage of you, stand tall, keep eye contact with confidence and stand your ground. Your assertiveness will reinforce the fact that you do not tolerate uncivil behaviour. Speak clearly, in a no-nonsense tone to take back control of a conversation that was intended to disrupt your work.

If you are the newbie, you may find yourself being targeted by bossy coworkers. Their mentality being that the newbie would want to impress. Task such a bossy colleague to inquire with your supervisor first if they needed you to do their dirty work. Keep it professional. Keep it all about work.

Remind them who you answer to

In their eagerness to lead, bossy colleagues normally get caught up in their ego and exercise their authority all over the place. You may find that other colleagues may be too timid to speak up against them; giving them the false notion that they own the workplace. Task them to inquire from your boss about their overstepping behavior.

Knowing very well where they stand, they are well aware that the big boss will not be impressed by an overstepping subordinate.