Is your child depressed?

1.    Self-destructive habits

Younger people especially will start mutilating their bodies. They may start cutting themselves and usually they begin with areas that are not dangerous, such as the palms of their hands. They will move up to the elbow joint and start moving upwards. When you see them starting to cut near the neck, they are unconsciously looking for where it would be dangerous, since if you cut the main artery near the neck you will bleed to death. They may also start becoming overly sexually active, having unprotected sex and not even care about STIs like HIV. Someone who never drove while drunk can begin doing it and not care, which would be out of character for them were it not for the depression.

2.    Changes in sleeping patterns

They may either not be sleeping (insomnia) or they sleep too much (hypersomnia). When I am counseling someone’s child or spouse, they will sometimes tell me, “You know they sleep until midday!” Because they have no energy, many sleep too much, while others will not sleep at all.

3.    Low self esteem

They will start having negative feelings and view of themselves. They will say things like, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t dress well”, or “I’m not beautiful.” When you hear that a lot and you were not used to hearing that from them, that is a sign of depression.

4.    They have feelings hopelessness and helplessness

They will say things like, “You know, there’s nothing I can do, my father has no money to take me to college,” and they think it’s they are unable to do anything about it. Feeling helpless and hopeless comes out very clearly for a depressed person.

5.     Romanticisation of death

Depressed people may start speaking favourably of death and have suicidal ideations. They may things like life is unfair and they wish they were dead or if someone dies they wish it was them. They have recurrent thoughts of death and make it start sounding appealing, unlike normal human beings who will do anything to avoid death.

Dr Charity Waithima, a clinical psychologist