By Ferdinand Mwongela
If the blogosphere was a tabloid, the newly minted Thika Road would be an A-list celebrity, complete with the near nude shots and glitzy red carpets, uh, dark tarmac glamour, jealous lovers and competitors — like the tattered Jogoo Road.
Despite some characters cheekily playing a clip of President Kibaki urging Kenyans to welcome the Chinese with open hands alongside those of some very Chinese looking toddlers who probably bear names like Kamau and Nakhumicha, I doubt that was exactly what the old man had in mind.
But maybe he did. Whenever two African communities wanted to form lasting bonds, marriage was always the preferred route. Probably why the Prime Minister’s son marrying across ethnic boundaries was headline news.
So China has married us and Thika Road has virtually become the symbol of Sino-Kenya relations in jokes around Nairobi. Not to take anything away from the Chinese, the road is damn good. In fact, I am convinced that our local contractors — no naming names — simply apply tarmac with a paint brush given the speed with which it disappears after the contractor hands over the ‘masterpiece’ to some government functionary.
Toothpicks
A quick check confirmed that all the electronics in my house are made in China, from the TV to the fridge and even the phone in my pocket. I believe even the toothpicks had a ‘made in China’ sticker.
In the process, the giant from the East has redeemed herself; no longer will it be a synonym for counterfeit products. Saying my phone is from China will not mean it is a stopgap until I get more money for a proper handset, because I already got one.
A little more money and I will get myself a Chinese-made car and hit the road, made in China. Too bad we can’t marry wives made in China. I heard some rumour about a serious shortage of the fair sex up there.
But not to worry; my kids will probably go to school with children made in China (or by China) to complete the whole setup.
I hear our former colonial masters are crimson with rage, but it is not our fault that stuff from China is easily available and cheaper — by far. Try buying a British-made car and get back to me.
For the young, these are Structural Adjustment Programmes (SAPs), only that they aren’t imposed by the IMF and World Bank this time and that instead of limiting jobs and salaries, we just buy everything on the cheap.
