A truly historical wedding

By Kipyego Cheluget

The same day Barack Obama gave his memorable acceptance speech as nominee for the Democratic Party, my daughter wed a man from Illinois. It was as if the gods had conspired to give Americans, yet another gift from Kenya. Elizabeth Jepchumba has been the pride of our family. She has done all the right things a good daughter does to make a dad like me proud. My feelings on this occasion were both happy and melancholic. I was happy because my daughter was genuinely happy and I was convinced her husband to be was truly in love with her.

Adrian and Elizabeth on their wedding day.

At the back of my mind, however, I was wary because of some of the unpleasant encounters with the African American community during my student days. What if this man was one of those monstrous fellows you see in the movies? Might he have a criminal record? Evidently, the groom was well brought up and was not the stereotypical black American man depicted by the character Bigger Thomas in Richard Wright’s novel Native Son. Coincidentally, my son-in-law is also a Thomas — Adrian Thomas III.

When I was asked to speak at the wedding, I hailed the union of the two as symbolising the historical bonds that have held the relationship between Kenya and the United States together. I urged the couple to strive to achieve what Obama has made possible — the American dream.

My misgivings about African Americans had been completely altered by the humility and genuineness of the Thomas family.

They had systematically won our hearts and confidence by complying with all the traditional requirements for acquiring a bride from my community. When we first met Adrian, he impressed us as a well-behaved young man any father would want as a son-in-law. He was dressed in suit and tie and punctuated his words with ‘sir’ to show his respect for us — Elizabeth’s parent. It was charming.

Pleasant surprise

This charm is perhaps what Elizabeth had seen in the young man. We had kind of half-jokingly told Elizabeth to tell her friend that they had to comply with Nandi customary law if they wanted her hand in marriage — knowing fully well that this was near impossible given the distance between Naperville, Illinois and Eldoret, Kenya. We were of course pleasantly surprised when they complied.

The parents of the groom travelled to Eldoret to seek Elizabeth’s hand in marriage. They had read a book by T Matson on Nandi customary law. All Elizabeth’s uncles and aunts were invited to interrogate them. After days of rigorous interviews, Edward Limo, Elizabeth’s grandfather asked Adrian a pointed question. What would he do, if the clan decides not to agree to his proposal to marry Elizabeth despite the fact that he had travelled all the way to Kenya with his mother, father, sister and grandmother — Mary Thomas — whom we had appropriately named Kogo Thomas?

Adrian’s response was swift and confident: He would come again and again until the clan agreed. The clan was impressed and he was informed that his request had been granted.

The announcement was met with great jubilation and dance. That was 18 months earlier in Eldoret. Now, on this occasion, the Thomas clan fulfilled its promise and organised a colourful wedding.

The bride poses with her parents Ruth and Kipyego. Photos: Courtesy

As father of the bride, America had come knocking at my door once more. The first time was when I saw a colourful advert for Warren Wilson College in Swannanoa, North Carolina, pinned on my Lelmokwo High School’s notice board in 1973. I imagined visiting the land where people had dared travel to the moon. As soon as I finished my last paper, I sent my application to the college. My late father, Councillor Philip Rono, went out of his way to use all his political muscle to raise funds for me to travel to America.

Memorable advice

The memorable word of advise from the entire village was that I should be careful lest I married a white woman and forgot my roots. I did not fully subscribe to this notion because I wanted to believe that I was a child of the universe and all racial and tribal barriers were irrelevant to me.

All travel formalities were finalised later as I studied for my "A" levels at Nairobi School. Finally, my dream came true and I made the journey to America. Some years later, I had succeeded in understanding and enjoying the American system of learning, so much so that I ended up pursuing doctoral studies in political science and history at Illinois State University, Normal, Illinois.

Met my wife

In the course of all this I met my wife Ruth, who was also pursuing the American dream. Elizabeth Jepchumba was born to us literally on campus.

A day after the wedding, Adrian and Elizabeth had no time to waste. They said a tearful goodbye to their family in Chicago, hitched a ride in our rental van to the East Coast and took the next Virgin Atlantic flight to England, where they are pursuing their lifelong dreams. We, the delegation from Eldoret, headed back to Nairobi.

Ruth and I had mixed emotions on this journey across the Atlantic. We had made a similar journey more than two decades ago. Elizabeth was only a few months old when she made her first trip to Kenya.

When I returned home after graduate studies nearly three decades ago, I was appointed a District Officer in Embu. I was, and still am, fiercely patriotic.

—The writer is ambassador and director of the Foreign Service Institute, Ministry of Foreign Affairs.