The first time he slapped me I made excuses - Olive opens up

US-based Kenyan actress Idah Alisha better known as Olive - courtesy of her stellar role in Mother-in-Law has opened up on domestic abuse.

In a video that has garnered over 14,900 views in 48 hours aptly titled Dating an Abuser, Olive narrated that she was young when she first witnessed abuse allegedly meted on her mother by her father.

According to Olive, dependent on alcohol, her father abused her mother before she finally packed her bags and left.

A decision the actress said, was the best thing her mother ever did.

“I know all of you know me differently; from TV, Instagram, YouTube etc. My dad was abusive.

“I was like three or four years old and I witnessed my dad being abusive to my mum. I have a sister, Jackie, she is eight years older than me, and I know she probably witnessed this longer than I did.

“My dad, I would say an alcoholic or really just enjoyed drinking to the point that he did not function without alcohol and so this alcohol came between their relationship and he became abusive,

“If my mum has done anything for us is the fact that she packed and left. I feel like that is the strongest thing my mother has ever done for us...

"We moved and we had a great life, my mum, God bless, did everything she had to do for us to have a great life and that’s why we are where we are,” narrated Olive.

Dating

She went on to reveal her experience at the hands of an abuser.

“I met this guy, he was a prince charming. If anyone had told me anything else about him, I would have told them off. I have told this story to a few people. My friends told me I was in a relationship with a narcissist, but, being in love, you don’t want to hear anything negative.

"He told me a story where his father was also abusive. His was even crazier than mine because they lived in a two-storey house and sometimes his father would push his mother down the stairs. It was traumatising.

"I shared my story too and it became our bond, and, maybe not knowing it, the things we went through as children kind of brought us together. The first year was great, then he started being abusive.

"The first time he slapped me I was like, wait a minute, it must be this mouth, I must have said something reckless that made him angry. We make excuses, we are like he doesn't hurt like that. He said sorry and we moved on.

"Of course, I didn’t tell anybody, and, me being in the limelight, of course, I wasn’t going to tell anybody. But that is the thing I am trying to talk about now.

“This person stripped me off my confidence slowly by slowly. I would wear a dress and he would ask “where are you going dressed like that? You are just going to show your knees?”

“Abuse sometimes starts from verbal to financial if he is the breadwinner. Thank God I had a good job at the time but it got to a point he took over my finances; if I sent my mother money he would get angry and become violent.

“I started getting anxiety attacks. Every time anything happened I panicked. There is a time I remembered my father was in the same position with my mom the same way this man was in mine,” expounded Olive.

Trauma

The actress noted that whilst some shrug the scars of abuse off, especially those that occurred in childhood, the trauma often lead on to adulthood.

“Being from there, the things you see, you do not think they will not affect you in future.

“You are like no I am not going to allow or accept this as my life but it really does affect you unless you go through therapy, counselling or make drastic changes in your life.

"Raising a child in an abusive household raises an abuser or a victim,” added the actress.

Get the whole interview below.