1. "He is a wife beater"

Any man who beats up his wife or a woman shows just how little he thinks of himself that he feels he needs to show how man he is through violence. A man of right standing uses his strength to protect not to harm.


2. "He is defined by his money or lack of"
If his self identity is defined by how much money he has or what he lacks, that is dangerous. A man is not his possession. His hard work is admirable but there is more to being a man. A man has a low self esteem if he feels he needs to parade his material wealth so that people can take him seriously. A man has a low self esteem if he feels inferior and worthless just because currently he lacks material wealth.


3. "He is addicted to porn"
If he would rather hide in pornography than pursue a meaningful real relationship or marriage, he has a low self esteem. His low self esteem makes him shy away from human connections.


4. "He is a bully"
Only a man with a low self esteem will suppress and destroy others in order to feel superior. Men of right standing love, the don't use people.


5. "He is intimidated by progressive women"
The world has many successful women. Women who are confident, aggressive, wealthy, grown, challenging and educated. A man with a low self esteem is shy from approaching, engaging or dating such women; or he will try to bring such a woman down.


6. "He runs away from responsibility"
A man with a low self esteem is not man enough to be responsible. He runs away when things get tough. He is scared of failure and expectations being piled on him. Some, even abandon the woman when she gets pregnant.

7. "He blames others"
He is never wrong even when he makes mistakes. It is always someone else at fault because he thinks mistakes make him small. He doesn't know there is greatness in an apology.

8. "He rapes"
A confident and mature man woos an adult woman to sex, he is secure in himself to charm her and they willingly both make passionate love. But a rapist has a skewed and shallow view of himself and so he thinks of raping or actually rapes an innocent girl or woman or old woman.

9. "He is overprotective"
He chokes his woman's social life, he gets jealous for no reason, ever suspecting her, keeping her on a leash, watching her every move. He is scared she might find a "better" man than him because he feels he is not good enough despite how much she loves him.

10. "He wants his ex to be unhappy"
If he breaks up with his woman he will not let her go. He will make her life a living hell and try all he can to ruin her happiness. He is not confident in himself to move on. If she will not be with him then he will not allow her to be happy without him or with another man.

11. "He is a stalker"
This man sees a woman he is attracted to but instead of pursuing her he just admires her from a distance because he doesn't believe in himself.

12. "He settles for less"
He stays in a relationship where the woman is taking advantage of him, she gives him crap or maybe it's a relationship that is going nowhere, maybe it's a relationship with a married woman. A man of right standing knows he is the best and so he settles only for the best and what is good for him because he knows the value he brings.

13. "He hides behind alcohol"
The only time he comes alive or fully lives life is when he is high on alcohol. When he is sober, his real self; he withdraws and lacks confidence.


14. "He is unfaithful'
A man who thinks highly of himself is proud of his woman. He knows his relationship/marriage is a reflection of him and so he protects it. But a man with a low self esteem sleeps with many women to make him feel man enough.


15. "He is influenced by peer pressure"
He is not his own man, he is pushed around because he is seeking approval. He lacks his own stand.

© Dayan Masinde and Akello Oliech
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