The agony of a drunken girl

Needing not to make excuses for a glass or two, Kenyans will drink whether it is a birthday, funeral or work night, period. The so called ‘fun lovers’ who justify working hard and partying hard could care less about getting high at a work event or dinner regardless of whether the ‘HIC’s’ are there so long as the alcohol is in the house.

Well that isn’t such a bad thing especially if you can keep it down. But for the young girls who cannot, it is a different story. A drunken woman is one of the vilest things you can ever defile your mind with.

Without any constraints the unimaginable kicks in as they try to outdo each other for the most attention. Crying goes without saying. So I guess alcohol truly does reflect one’s true nature. For the unemotionally unstable chics, all sorts of issues pop up unexpectedly and before you know it you are playing someone’s mommy at a club. Talk of a party popper! Then there’s that one who takes off with every guy she sets her eyes on getting. Once she has offered herself on a tin plate, the free shag is accepted and before you know it she is missing for hours driving her concerned friends nuts. When she comes back she’s in frenzy with no recollection.

Then comes in the loose ones who just can’t put their knickers on and prefer to wear the shortest skirts possible as they bend all over the dance floor. Without much effort, guys are always in for a free treat with those who have no time to vibe a chic jumping on the free relief of the loins. Servicing guys for free, it becomes another bad night for those who are truly there for business. Dancing to every beat, some get it twisted re-living Beyoncé’s dance moves on tables and in front of uninterested patrons who just want to do their thing. What’s worse is, every girl is twerking and doing the booty moves that have become so cliché guys could care less anymore.

For another type, they relish on drama saying the dumbest things ever and cursing unnecessarily making them look even more stupid as they get into silly fights over issues no one remembers. The end result? Running makeup, hair patches, missing shoes and wetness from the obvious. For those wannabes who had a chance to go outside the country for a week or two, all of a sudden acquire new accents talking about big things with important people at the top of the lungs for all to hear. Let’s not forget the weirdoes who pose with ‘expensive’ bottles in all the wrong places and before you know it they are all over kissing and fondling with their girlfriends for that photo moment.

For those couples that choose to rave together, in most instances it becomes the perfect recipe for a disaster. A silly argument from a dude checking out his chic or a friendly hug, which is misinterpreted, becomes ground for drama. Breakups are the order of the day when the two ‘love birds’ are in a drunken stupor hurling curses at each other exposing skeletons we all wish should never leave the closet. In all that melee, people who’ve been eyeing the couple get the chance to make a move making a complicated situation into one that cannot be salvaged.