Kenyans are obsessed with jokes and jokers

Our national politics is full of empty and dangerous political narratives. These narratives are empty, bereft of common sense and are only useful in dulling the minds of those who refuse to think.

Narratives such as hustler-vs-dynasty, witch-doctors, people who have cast a spell on a certain leader, stopping and not stopping reggae and of late; bhangi are all lazy attempts to whip up emotion without ever delivering on promises.

Take for example, the hustler-vs-dynasty narrative. Ask yourself, which of the hustlers aren't starting a dynasty of their own? Which hustler is not setting the stage for their children to be as wealthy and politically relevant as they are? Which hustler in national leadership is as poor as you? It is true Kenya is ruled by the elite, but make no mistake there is no hustler nation and there are no dynasties. But there are poor people who need help to get something to eat.

It is funny that all a politician needs to do to make another unpopular is to brand him/her a witch. Now if this was the early 1500’s, I would understand the naiveté. But this is the modern world and we know there is no such thing as witchcraft. When you call someone a witch, what are we supposed to do with that information? Are we to find a bigger and stronger witch? How does one undo witchcraft? After we deal with the witchcraft, will our country be more developed or united? The answer is obvious, nothing will have changed.

Only poor villagers with little exposure and education believe witchcraft is a problem. You will never hear the Swiss, for example, discussing how their society would be better if they get rid of a few witches. People and countries that think about witches are generally poor and rudderless.

Similarly, the challenge is not stopping reggae or reggae continuing to the end of time. The truth of the matter is that Jamaica is still poor and they started reggae 40 years ago. Once again, our minds are fixated on platitudes as we ignore the realities of Kenyan life. Just like 'wembe ni ule ule’, ‘kuumira kuumira’, ‘tibim and tialala’, we are chanting nonsense, thinking nonsense and expecting to reap a bountiful harvest.

If Kenya is a farm, our politicians are farmers who eat all the seed, plant chaff and convince us we will have a bumper harvest. Small wonder why 'kwa ground', things are always different?

It is funny how Kenya united under 'kuumira' and 'tialala' which meant nothing, but we can't unite under Big 4. What, pray, is more important, 'kuumira' or big 4? Half of us believed Raila when he said he would lead us to a mythical Canaan, but we doubt him when he says he wants to unite the country. Today we support nothing tangible, but we love the rhetoric and name calling.

We are like children, watching TV, forever on the cartoon channel; amused by infantile ideas that only peak the interest of childish minds. Like children, we complain bitterly when our channels are changed to serious matters of State. We want entertainment, we do not want change.

For if we honestly want change, then the conversations we would tolerate from our leaders would be revolutionary ideas that can transform our nation. We would have no time for hustlers-vs-dynasties, instead we would ask both the so-called hustler and the dynasty (who are both in power), to execute brilliant ideas that would change our lives. Instead we are content with hand-outs and funny stories that have no direction.

Tribal god

The quality of debate is a good measure of intelligence. In the United States the democrats are discussing free health care for all, universal basic income, reparations for slavery and taxes targeting the elite. Here the elite are dividing themselves into hustlers and dynasties, witchcraft and those who are paying for mansions in heaven and reggae stoppers-vs-reggae fans. We have run out of ideas and now entertainment and childish notions are the focus of our national debates.

Unfortunately, the masses do not seem keen to discuss development. When they read they see only what their tribal god told them to see, when they hear they hear only what their tribal god told them to hear. 

As such, every good idea is buried in platitudes. It is easier to support Uhuru in 'kuumira' but hard to support him on the Big 4. It is easy to support Ruto the hustler, but hard to support him and the president in delivering the Big 4 and in the fight against corruption. It is easy to believe Raila when he says Canaan and 'nasa hao', but hard to believe the fight against corruption is happening.

We are a nation obsessed with court jester instead of the king. We love the jokers and the funny men and ignore the serious ones. This is why serious people can’t run for office. In Kenya, we mostly go for jokers. We take jokes too far.

 Mr Bichachi is a communications consultant. bichachi@gmail.com