Although there are several cases of men who are abused by their wives, they never report to the police.

Kilifi OCPD Njoroge Ngigi and his Magarini counterpart Gerald Barasa said men prefer resolving the issues at home than approach officers to admit that they have been battered by their wives.

Barasa highlighted a case of Swaleh Mwambegu, 36, who was killed in a love triangle involving his wife and her lover. He met his death after he went to look for his wife after a brief separation. The two attacked and killed Mwambegu.

Center for Rights Education Awareness (CREAW) Kilifi County Programme Officer Isabel Mwangi said male abuse is under-reported unlike women cases due to poor reporting structures and negative sensitisation.

“A man cannot report when he has been abused whether physically, emotionally or sexually. If they go to the police, they are referred back home for the matter to be handled as a family issue. There are no proper mechanisms for reporting and by the time a man is coming to court it means the abuse has been going on for long,” said Ms Mwangi.

Feel insecure

She added that the belief that men should put up a brave face whenever they are battered makes it even more difficult to raise their voice against abuse.

Judith Uchi, chairlady of Ganze Sauti ya Wanawake, an organisation that addresses gender issues, said most men are abused and end up commiting suicide instead of pursuing justice in court.

“Men feel insecure to go and report the abuse because the Gender Desks at the police stations are not friendly. There are cases where men poison themselves to move away from frustrations and stress by their wives. Last year in December in Malomani village, a man took poison because he could not tolerate his wife anymore. He left a note behind that said he was tired,” said Uchi.

Raymond Katana, a social officer at the Kilifi County Gender Based Recovery Center (GBVRC) said most cases of assault are not reported at the centre.

“We mostly get cases of sodomy of children, not adults. Men are abused but they do not reach the GBVRC. We hear of cases of men who have hot water poured on them, but they do not report,” said Mr Katana.

Former Kilifi County Maendeleo ya Wanawake chairlady Aisha Said who was appointed village elder, said there are heart wrending narratives of men suffering in silence because of the shame associated with domestic violence.

“Sometimes the abuse is verbal. The wife abuses and threatens them but they never report to the police,” said Aisha.

This year, the village elder has handled six cases involving men being abused.