This quote from the then young Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair, is something us parents often have to remember in the hardest type of leadership; dealing with our children. However, beyond the careful balancing act of parenting, this statement rings true for our political leadership today.
There have been columns upon columns analysing the preparedness of our counter-terrorism forces in the build-up to the recent terrible attack on Kenyan soil which killed 21 people.
There has been criticism thrown at our president, some fair, but mostly political in nature. And there has been much praise too.
Time of relection
This is why in this time of crucial self-reflection and unity as a nation, it is important to analyse how the President and Commander in Chief functioned as a leader during these times especially in light of the challenge of terror attacks.
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Leadership is everything. And in such times, what the leader says and does matters a lot.
First of all, he has spent many years saying no, when others would have just said yes.
He was swimming against the stream, fighting the tide, with his continued fight against al-Shabaab. Some said it was a waste of resources.
Others said there were more pressing issues at home. But instead of just agreeing to this mass of criticism, he chose to say no.
He has chosen to take the war to the enemies. He has chosen to stay the course in Somalia.
As any good military strategist knows, you want to take the fight to your enemy.
You want them to be on the back foot, you want them to be on the defensive. And the further away you fight and chase your enemy, the less likely there will be civilian deaths on the home-front.
If you wait for them to come to your backyard, the consequences are often on a horrific scale; Westgate being a perfect example.
You must keep them running, disorganised.
We will never know exactly how many attacks have been foiled in our war against al-Shabaab, but we know for sure that the enemy is frustrated, severely weakened and on the run. How then do we pack and leave before the mission is declared complete?
Going by that it could then be that the recent attack at 14 Riverside Drive complex though regrettable, was very much the exception to the rule.
It was an anomaly in what is a trend of military and intelligence successes.
We shouldn’t be cowed for that is to give in to the enemy. Those pushing for unconditional withdrawal of KDF from Somalia ought to think twice. The consequences will be nothing but disastrous.
Persevering in trial
Our holy scriptures note that in James 1:12, “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”
Over the last month, this verse could be as much about our political leadership as it could be about the man in the street.
Kenyans have shown real leadership, showering love and support on the victims on social media, or the incredible heroic citizens who lost their lives saving others in the attack itself.
Kenyans have demonstrated great personal leadership; we persevered under trial. We stood the test.
We can also learn from Proverbs 27:23-24: “Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds.”
The president and his team continue to make sure that the people are as ready as they can be to deal with such attacks.
From the incredible readiness of the units who tackled the terrorists with valour, to the ongoing communications campaign of reassurance throughout.
And this is perhaps the most valuable of all the leadership qualities. The ability to instill in a nation the notion that together we can build a brighter path.
That we have a hopeful future. For as the great Napoleon once noted: “A leader is a dealer in hope.”
Mr Temba is a Communications Consultant