The politics of baby showers

A post by a woman on social media last week sparked a debate when she mentioned that an acquaintance was demanding Sh150,000 for a baby shower.

The comments that followed were laughable.  

“150k per head as contribution for babyshower. Am I the one that impregnated her? That’s a flight from Ghana to Lagos and 1 night at Villa Rosa Kempinski,” read one of the comments.

Others said how they have often found themselves attending baby showers that come with demands and requests for money.

“I had a colleague who had three babyshowers in the five years she worked for our company, and in all those, we each gave Sh20,000 because she had a list of what she wanted,” someone posted on Facebook.

Interestingly, lavish baby showers are becoming a social trend.

New era

Event organisers have diaries filled with reservations for mothers-to-be and their spouses who come with colour themes, ‘baby gender reveal’ parties and intricate details they want to be included in their babyshower.

Wambui Mbugua, the CEO and Founder of Ariella Events, describes it as a rite of passage for every woman who is on the journey to motherhood.

“It is a celebration of life especially if it is the first child and it also marks the beginning of a new era in the woman’s life,” Ms Mbugua says.

She adds that in the past three years, babyshowers have become very expensive that at times if feels like a wedding.

Robert Muoki, a father of three admits that he loathes baby showers.

He says the event almost ruined their marriage when his wife was expecting their second child.

Her friends were organising a party, and the bill was close to Sh500,000, money Muoki says he did not have.

“When I raised it, she said I was not being supportive.

“We later reached a compromise and we are happy, but I think baby showers are unnecessary,” he says.

Truphena Aketch, Project Manager at Hawi Events however notes that not all babyshowers a show off.

She says baby showers are meant to counsel and teach parents how to handle a new born.

“Counselling is also an important aspect during the baby shower to help first time mothers deal with any form of stress or anxiety after giving birth,” she says.

Grace Lamoi, a community health worker in Kericho however believes that babyshowers are not Biblical and can bring ill luck to the expectant mother. 

“I have seen a case where the mother had a baby shower and the baby died in hospital.

“She got a lot of diapers during the babyshower and they kept reminding her of the baby she lost,” she says.