The troubles that come with living in a bedsitter

'Aki si hii nyumba yako ni ndogo alafu ni simple vizuri.' Says Awino as she sits on the bed. The bed makes some unique sounds maybe complaining about the large size of her behind-the type of behind that Biko once said would turn a whole church into a choir.

I feel some displeasure in her words because she thought this dude must be staying in a big house.She asks why I had put her sandals inside and left mine outside and I tell her I'm just trying to be a gentleman, but that was intended to prevent the muchene by those women, I guess you know them.

Those that will always talk about seeing you with a woman but will never see the thief that once got away with the new khaki Collo had bought.Being an aluminum apartment, I intend to run through the lengthy agenda of our meeting lest the joto of Kisumu spoil the moment.

Now the best thing about bedsitters is that you can do all the chores while sitting in one position and at the same time pretend to be listening to the talkative Awino and her boring tales, that you only need to come in when responses such as 'eh' 'donge' 'nyasadi' and 'ooh' are needed.

A KOT once said that the heat from a stove could turn a bedsitter into a sauna, I concur. The condition was unfavorable for her that she kept on fanning herself with the King James Bible.

"Aki hii joto..."she repeatedly complained. At that moment I asked myself when I turn off the stove how will she react to the smoke?.Shauri yake.

“Chwarni makae tindo tindo”(The bed bugs here are very small) she said in a low tone. I was not astonished because I understood where my guest came from; therefore there was no need of pre-cleaning the house like applying the insecticides.

When I am not around or maybe sleeping, some mischievousness kids often come to susu on the walls of my apartment, and you know how the nyumba za mabati are with its many tiny holes.Chrrrrrrrrr! Was the sound that came from the back of where I was sitting.

The good thing was that Awino didn’t hear it as her concentration was on hali halisi by daktari Jalas on Radio Maisha. I coughed twice to stop the velocity of the urine that had made a thin line across the floor. The kid had run away.

We enjoyed our tea while listening to the radio but from where I was sitting Awino enjoyed it most. I was sitting right in front of her on a chair that was preferred to short-term visitors-akina Bangu who would often come and only the thing they could tell you is nilikuja tu kukugotea kiasi.

When you sat on this seat, you look like you were sitting in a congested tuktuk, and the funny thing is that you might fall in the next seconds.All of a sudden as I was about to move to the next agenda, the landlord knocked.

“Today is Monday” that was his reply after greeting him. I convince him that he will get the rent by evening which will be as a result of selling the 6kg Hashi gas which has not been refilled since its first use.

“Omera when I come by evening and you fail to give me the cash….okbichaloni’’he said. Oya! My fellow tribesmen how do you translate okbichaloni from Dholuo to English-it will not look for you?

These are just but the few troubles people who live in bedsitters like us face daily. Of course, those living in posh two to three bedroom houses will never understand this.