Lending your way into resentment

Every day life, people will borrow you some money and you will borrow people some money. Different people will borrow differently, majorly depending on your relationship with them.

Some will send you a “Hey [your name]” text, with or without an emoji, which is often followed by one of the greatest small-talk openers – “how’ve you been?”

You will give the usual cliché responses, and they will show great interest in the latest developments in your life by asking about your family, your job, and your hobbies, perhaps as a way to gauge your mental and emotional state before making their move.

They will gently introduce the request to you by stating that they need a favour from you, and after you curiously ask them about the favour, they will go on to present their financial woes, and where you come in.

The amounts they ask for are usually relatively small, making it easy for someone to lend them without being left with a significant dent in their pockets.

You may land yourself a chronic borrower, who is also a chronic debt defaulter. After doing them the favour, they will thank you, perhaps make a quick repayment promise, and then disappear, only to resurface when they need another ‘favour.’

They are aware that they already owe you, but those two or three soft loans that they are yet to repay do not discourage them from pushing their luck. So frequent are their requests for a small favour that by the time they are testing your benevolence for the nth time, they will not even bother with the mundane salutations or small talk anymore.

Almost always

Instead they will almost always begin their sentences thus: “Hey, [your name], I know I already owe you but…” then proceed to spell out their desperate case before finishing off: “…I will pay back together with the other loans next week.”

Good luck getting paid (together with the other loans).

Other times, a relative will seek your financial assistance. They may send a poorly typed message asking how you and your family are doing (they will often mention names of those family members), then inform you that they are fine, although there’s a problem with something (or someone), and they would like you to send them some money to enable them solve said problem.

To appeal more to your philanthropic side, they will sign off saying that God will bless you. Sometimes, the entitled ones may not take no for an answer, and even suggest that you take a loan from somewhere because what do you want them to do?

Other borrowers are just wicked. They will mostly opt to call you, and they will go straight to the point as their case is ‘urgent’. If they do not call, then their text message will be short, and the body will comprise of a one-worded greeting, the crux of the matter with a brief reason for their borrowing, and a vow to refund your money.

Since they are asking for a rather large sum of money, they will convincingly lie that they are (still) very financially strong and independent, and that you need not worry because “…I just have a small problem with my bank…”  

They will manage to make you believe that their money is ‘held up’, and they will therefore pay you back the following day since the small situation at hand would be solved by then (“…I called my bank and they will sort it out by tomorrow.”).

More often than not, it is the first time that this person is borrowing you money, and without any credit history to help you make the right decision, you think, “What could go wrong?” So you make the transaction without fear because you are sure that you will have the money back tomorrow. But when tomorrow comes, this person will use the same reasons that they used to borrow you to escape payment.

Their bank is constantly having a delay, although they are just from talking with the manager and they are looking into it. Their M-Pesa account mysteriously develops a technical problem that Safaricom cannot even fathom, but thank heavens they have the money in cash, and they will therefore ask you to be patient as they find an M-Pesa agent and deposit the money to your account.

Too busy

When you try to find out if the monster slipped into a coma, hours later, they will narrate to you the difficulties of finding an M-Pesa shop wherever they are; Or how they have been too busy that they forgot, so can you please let them send you the money tomorrow?

They will take you back and forth with false, exhausting stories, until their creativity burns out and they begin ignoring your calls and/or messages, or give you a rude and arrogant response.

By now, resentment has festered between you and Satan’s bosom friend. In fact, they will feel offended and get angry if you as much as even think about them.