Campaign chiefs in mortal fear over wasted millions as noisy politician loses tongue and seat

Some campaign managers are living in terror in Rift Valley . Word reaching grapevine is that at the height of the campaigns a moneyed candidate who is known for being tough streetwise would dispatch his men to take money to the managers and then take a selfie with the loads of cash.

The managers were then informed that in the event they failed to deliver seats, they would be expected to refund the money. The managers are are now terrified as the candidate performed dismally even after he spent millions. One manager cum trader has literally fled from his home for fear of a nocturnal visit from the candidate's enforcers as he had been given over Sh2 million which translated into insignificant votes.

ELECTIONS AND TV WARFARE

It was the longest weekend for the kids. Word reaching us is that most parents remained indoors last weekend and turned the lives of their kids upside down. The kids who are used to controlling the TV remote control were horrified as their parents literally took over the gadgets so as to follow on the release of the presidential results uninterrupted.

The nightmare did not end there as the children were gagged from shouting or squabbling among themselves as this interrupted the flow of political commentary spewed by analysts as the whole country held its breath waiting for the presidential results.

Some of the children could be heard complaining that they had been denied an opportunity to follow up the mischief of their favourite comic TV characters who were replaced with hacking, form 34Bs and other foreign sounding stuff.

LOST TONGUE, IN EXILE

We are learning that a tough talking politician who has been known to speak his mind on any issue has momentarily lost his tongue. More troubling still is that the politician who unsuccessfully defended his seat is now in a self imposed exile. Since the day of the election, the politician has not been sighted in public.

Word is that he has instructed his watchmen not to let any visitor into his compound and he has refused to venture out. His neighbours claim that he doe not want to chance a meeting with the rival who trounced him and needs some time to come to terms with the reality of five long years in political oblivion.