We have all dated that guy – the unreliable, unpredictable and contemptible jerk- and convinced ourselves that underneath all that callousness and brutishness is a glittering gem of a human being. We desperately held on believing that there was a softhearted, emotional and affectionate guy in there despite all evidence to the contrary.
You told yourself that you were going to be the one to bring out his good side. Women love to romanticize the idea of a jerk that secretly possesses an inner kindness. They delude themselves into thinking that underneath the glaring disrespect and incivility, there is a good guy who has feelings.
We can’t really blame them taking into account how the media perpetuates the idea of the bad boys as the ones who you’re supposed to save and fall in love with. It’s a dangerous conviction that blinds women and makes them believe that men who treat them like crap are in fact redeemable and worthwhile if they are merely willing to fight hard enough and wait long enough.
No woman should tolerate a jerk. You deserve to date someone who is considerate, morally conscientious, and just plain polite. Highlighted below are identifiers of a jerk. If your new crush exhibits any of them, run for the hills.
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He cannot be saved
He boasts about his prowess in captivating other women. Most jerks are self-absorbed egotists. If your guy is a jerk, he thrives in the attention he gets from other women. He will not hesitate to tell you about all the other women who are hitting on him or how he makes other women swoon over him. He readily brings up all his past sexual conquests.
He tries to make you feel like he is some kind of a prized possession and you should feel lucky that he gives you his time of day. He tries to make you jealous every chance he gets. If this describes the guy you are seeing, kick him to the curb. He is disrespectful of you and you can’t change him.
He criticizes you unnecessarily
Nothing you do pleases him. He doesn’t like the way you dress or the way you do your hair. He doesn’t like the way you do your make up. He criticizes your cooking and your cleaning. He hates your friends. While a little criticism in a relationship is normal, a jerk just makes it more of a habit than anyone else. When your boyfriend criticizes you for things that don’t bother you like your sense of style or your harmless routines, you better get some self-respect and dump him fast. This person is trying to change you, and not necessarily for the better.
He’s unreliable, inconsistent and predictable. He never replies to your texts or calls and disappears without an explanation. He ignores you for weeks on end then acts like it is not a big deal. He flakes on you all the time and never follows up on plans to meet and hang out. Her is always really, really busy. You can only see him on his schedule and at his convenience. Showing consideration for you, your wishes, and your feelings is not his top priority.
He is selfish in bed
He only cares about his pleasure in the bedroom. He finishes too soon, doesn’t engage in foreplay and lets you do all the work. He might also try to make you do things that you are not comfortable with. He doesn’t care if you enjoyed it as long as he did. If you ask him to do something more he rarely sticks to it.
@roxannekenya
