20 differences between Men in soap operas and Kenyan men

There is a big difference between men in soaps and our Kenyan men. It's enough to say that the two have been cut from a different cloth. Their differences can easily be seen in all engagements. This explains why most men dismiss soaps and say it's for the intellectually challenged minds. Let’s sample the differences between Kenyan men and the men we see in soap operas. 

1. Men in soap operas give their women flowers all the time. When they walk in a garden or on the road, they can't help but pick red roses for their women. Kenyan men are repelled by flowers. They even laugh at the few men who give flowers. When they surprise their girlfriends, they go empty handed but remember to carry free protection in their pockets. 

2. In soaps, men call their women "my love, sweetheart, the love of my life" and many sweet names. "Mama watoto" or referring to their women by their name is something Kenyan men do best. Those who try use baby, sweety but stop after some few years. Needless to add that they use it in a hypocritical way. To fool their women yet they have other sweethearts. 

3. Men in soaps button their shirts halfway. They leave part of their chests partially exposed, thus revealing their sexy part. Most Kenyan men button their shirts completely. As if they are putting on protective clothing to put out a fire.

4. In soaps, men are faithful. They don't sleep around. Even if a woman forces herself on them and they get married, they sleep in separate rooms. All they do is think about the one woman they love. Let me spare you the repeated tale of how our men are unfaithful. It will be said that I am bitter or I was jilted and such like assumptions. 

5. Unless it's an all-white church wedding, men in soaps can't take the woman they love. They even don't form committees to help fund the wedding. Our men are bosom friends with come we stay. Few enlightened men agree to weddings and even agree to be on wedding shows. 

6. Waiting till marriage comes easy for men in soaps. All the lead men in soaps wait for the woman they love before they can taste the cookie. They love her for who she is. They are not members of team mafisi like some mentally retarded men here.

7. In an unfortunate event that a woman gets pregnant by another man, the man who loves her will stand by her. He will marry her as quickly as possible and treat that child as his own. Most single men in Kenya imagine themselves one among the seven wonders of the world. That's why they will date single moms but say stupid things like "I would marry you, but mum said I can't marry a single mum". 

8. When another man is interested in a woman he loves, a man in a soap opera will not take any of it. In fact, he will punch that man in the face and make no apologies about it. Apart from Kenyan men shooting their rivals due to morbid jealousy, I am yet to hear of men who have fist fights over their ladies. You may say its perpetuating violence, but I will look at you in the eye and tell you how it's extremely romantic. 

9. In case a man in a soap impregnates a woman, voila! She has a husband. All a woman needs to say is that he is responsible. He rarely runs away. A wedding will be planned so that they get married as soon as possible. Don't try this with a Kenyan man. You will have to take him to deadbeat dads, children's department, courts or never see him again. You will think he was swept away by a Tsunami. But the truth of the matter is that he is somewhere living peacefully. If he is kind (As he imagines he is), he will say " usitoe mimba yangu, leta mtoto nitamlea. 

10. In soaps, men grow old and love their old women unconditionally. They renew their vows and regret keeping mistresses in their heydays. Here, some married men grow to be old filthy shameless sponsors. They go clubbing, picking college girls at campus hostels and have many illegitimate children in their old age as they did when young. 

11. It's an open secret that sensitive men are confined in our television screens. More than half of them know how to treat women with sensitivity. They pull chairs for ladies, talk to them with respect and can't stop apologising for any wrong doing. Our men can't spell sensitivity. That's why they take immense pleasure in being insensitive. Don't look further than the team mafisi's activities and the swelling number of pedophiles. 

12. In soap operas, men know what they want. They know which career to pursue and who to marry. The same can't be said about most Kenyan men. At 30, some Kenyan men are yet to choose a career path. They love several women and rely on fellow team mafisi or mama to make a choice for them. 

13. Showing emotion is a normal thing for men in soaps. If they are disappointed at work or in a relationship, we see them cry or show their weak side. Our men pretend to be macho and all hairy. But surprise! Surprise! Many are little boys and weaker than our shilling against a dollar. 

15. I am yet to see a man who splits a bill or asks a woman to clear it since he forgot his wallet at home. Men in soaps clear bills in expensive hotels without blinking. You have witnessed how some men have left a huge bill for a poor woman. 

16. A majority of men in soaps rarely hit women. Stubborn women in soaps can give them a hot slap and they will say nothing. Slap a Kenyan man at your own risk. Some hit women and cut their limbs for flimsy reasons. If a man in a soap did that, all men will be up in arms to defend the poor woman. Here, it's only women who will cry foul and a few good hearted men. 

7. When a man loves a woman in a soap opera, he means it. He will follow her to the moon and back. He will lay down his life for her. If she plays hard to get(like always)he will put extra effort. He can even kidnap her on her wedding day. Here, an extra mile a man can go to say he loves you is inviting you to his house. Where he will want you to cook, clean and wash his soiled jeans. If you are lucky, he will give you his house keys as a show of love. His other girlfriends will not be given this honour. You will toil and stay indoors all the time as he tastes your cookie on an hourly basis. He will leave nothing for your future husband. How unromantic and boring can this be? 

18. Suffering for the women they love is something men in soaps have specialized in. If they have missed their loved ones, they will walk to her house. They can even stand in the rain and be rained on for hours. When the woman they love tells them they will be sick, they say not being with them is what makes them sick. Kenyan men don't know about the laour of love. If things are hard and they can't have you at their convenient time, they will get the next girl. 

19. In soaps, men know the real meaning of forgiveness and true love. They forgive atrocious acts against them. Even when the woman they love dearly gets married to another man, has children and ignores them, they will still forgive. A Kenyan man can cheat on his woman with many women; If the woman just slips then "kwa bahati tu" cheats on him with one man, nothing will be forgiven. He will act like that woman killed his entire kinsmen. 

20. Remembering special occasions comes easy for Men in soaps. They remember the first kiss, your birthday, his children's birthdays, marriage anniversary and even the first day he set his eyes on you. You will need to remind a typical Kenyan man a thousand times about all anniversaries. Don't be offended if he forgets and says he is working on that day.