How to mend a damaged relationship with your boss

The steps to the peak of any career are not straight-forward and can sometimes lead the individual to a cross-road where making decisions is a delicate affair.

One of the toughest obstacles that career enthusiasts have to tackle is a damaged relationship with the boss. Butting heads with one’s boss cannot only make the work-place unbearable, but it can also have undesirable effects on your career. Undoubtedly, your work-life can prove a nightmare if your boss becomes an adversary.

Situations like these should be avoided at all costs. But should an individual find themselves with a seriously bruised relationship with the  boss, then it makes career sense to seek redress in removing the stalemate. Mending the relationship with the boss has remarkable benefits.

First is saving the individual the agony of job loss resulting from either being fired or quitting under pressure. Secondly, the improved people skills as you walk the tight rope of reconciliation. This requires a higher level of maturity and tenacity as your mind is called upon to leave the comfort zone and embrace creativity and imagination.

Again, should you still exit from your job, mending your relationship with your boss means that you can still earn yourself a recommendation letter and that your boss can still be your reference in your quest for success in future.

Creativity blossoms

The one-million-dollar question that begs for answers is, “How does one repair a damaged relationship with his/her boss?” The adage that where there is a will, there is a way takes centre stage. First, accept that there is a problem and that you have a role in solving the problem for the sake of the organisation and also for your career’s sake.

Secondly, identify the grey areas with the help of your job description to spot where you have performed below par. Note that underperformance is a key cause of disagreements. Feedback from your boss and colleagues can also add value in this regard. We must never lose sight of the fact that feuding with a boss simply means that your performance and potential growth are hampered as the boss will have little or no incentive to promote or increase the salary of a dissident.

Thirdly, look at the available options for solving the problem. Remember that impossible problems are non-existent where creativity blossoms. Whatever strategy you adopt, you must avoid confrontations and embrace diplomacy. You must also be pro-establishment and be ready to take responsibility for your role in the impasse.

Actually, the question of whether the boss is bad or you are overwhelmed with work should be carefully analysed and answered. And you must avoid the anger factor. Remember that all conflicts require a sober and objective mind to get resolved. You should also avoid letting your ego get in the way of a conclusive reconciliation.

Seek to be proactive and engaging in this process. The truth is that everyone must be willing to cede ground and be more accommodating, yourself included. Take note of the fact that career literacy coaches advise that learning how to mend damaged relationships with your boss does remove the hiccups on the career success path.

—The Writer is Human Resource Specialist and the co-author of “The Career Code”. Email: goretti@peoplelink.co.ke