Have we raised an entire generation of young men who do not know how to be men?

Recently I asked an elderly man how he would describe the men of my generation. “It’s a generation who refuse to grow up: No traditional hut or modern house. No marriage. No children. No career plan. No ambition whatsoever. Yours is a bunch of lazy fellas full of excuses.”

I fear that we have failed an entire generation of young men. Have we given a thought of how many of Kenyan 21-35 year olds males have already left home? The male characters are in a mess. Insecure, jobless, and barely able to dress themselves without a wife or girlfriend and living in their parent’s basement or at worst the same single room. Men that are between 25 and 34 should be in their prime working years. Instead, almost one out of every five of them is living with mommy and daddy.

Their female counterparts, meanwhile, are flaunting the same selfish, boorish ways that once got men called chauvinists. Today, our society generally does not teach young men that they should be strong, noble, ambitious and eager to take responsibility. Men are lagging behind young women in the push forward. Women are surpassing men in a lot of indicators of success.

Today, there are millions of young men that are sitting around with no job, no hope and no direction in life. But even many of those that do have jobs are not ambitious enough as they have nothing to show for it. They have resigned to the usual mantra of there no jobs. Hanging around in our estates, roads and village markets discussing football, politics and countless misogyny conversations. It’s a generation addicted to video games, drugs and alcohol. One that has simply refused to grow up. This generation no longer asks itself what it means to be a man.

In the past, women always complained about the gender gap when it came to salaries and wages, but today we are actually seeing that reversed among our young people. This has led to an inferiority complex and a battle of the sexes. Men are no longer comfortable to date or marry a woman perceived to be highly educated leave alone earning more than the boyfriend/husband

Through an overzealous feminism which is abandoning boys in an effort to boost girls education and social rise, through political correctness and activism, Kenya is almost creating a functional analog to China’s demographic problem. The “one child” policy in China resulted in the abandonment of millions, perhaps tens of millions, of female Chinese infants and children over several decades, leaving a country with far more men than women and a tremendous challenge for their future. There are not enough women for the men to marry in order to sustain adequate population growth.

Kenya has not caused the preferential abandonment of boys, but it has slowly created a generation of young men who are less productive, less ambitious, less marriage-worthy, less interested in doing anything that is of more than the smallest benefit to themselves or to society.

This current generation of men also seems to be extremely hesitant to take on the responsibilities of marriage and family. Instead, most young men seem to want to run around "hooking up" with as many women as possible without any consequences.

But there are consequences. The irresponsible behaviour of our young men is putting an incredible amount of strain on our young women. My understanding is that a man should be a provider for his family, so too many a time I feel if the man is failing to provide, you are probably in the wrong relationship. Staying deeply in love with someone happens gradually and requires conscious decisions, made over and over again, for a lifetime. Too many people choose to get married based on attraction and don’t consider, or have not enough perspective to recognise whether their love can endure and stand the test of time.

This is a major problem. Rather than working hard, taking responsibility and building their own lives, we have way too many young men that are still living at home and spend much of their time watching television or playing video games. The lack of ambition among many of our young men is absolutely appalling.

Having an unmotivated, unproductive, fundamentally unhappy son is a difficult and sad situation for a family. Having a generation of them is a disaster for a nation.