I was about to cross the road at a zebra crossing the other day when an approaching matatu accelerated and hooted loudly, warning me not to attempt to impede its progress. I obliged, but as I crossed I could not help noticing that the matatu was forced to a stop at a gridlock barely 20 metres away.
In another incident as I was getting out of a lift, I was forced back inside to allow a jostling crowd to get in. When they were safely in, I had to begin the tedious process of excusing myself so the new occupants could let me get out. They kindly obliged.
Many drivers have become completely desensitised to the discourteous behaviour of other road users. Curses are the norm in our daily commute. Try hesitating for a second after the lights turn green and you will be rudely awakened from your daydream by a cacophony of blaring horns.
It has dawned on me that it will be very difficult to change the way things are or change those around me. I am also sceptical of the Utopian ideal that if we individually worked on bettering ourselves, the society would eventually improve. I do not think that is tenable for all of us to work in concert as we are all not driven by the same ideals.
For instance, let us look at the concept of humility. I have been led to believe that humility is forced upon us when we are in under privileged circumstances. How then could you possibly explain the about face when a formerly very down to earth commoner is elevated to a position of privilege and a year later he becomes unapproachable.
The commoner will relate to the problems facing the public on the promise that he will safeguard their interests if they elect him; a promise he immediately reneges on and moves out of the neighbourhood.
We put highly respected technocrats into positions of leadership and they are in many cases unable to deliver. In the worst scenario, they not only fail to deliver but pilfer whatever is in the coffers. My take is we lack individual authenticity and since I cannot authenticate another person, how about deciding you will be the real deal.
How can you as an individual counter all the rot and lethargy around you? How can you live a life of those high standards that you set for yourself?
How can you operate in this environment as a ray of light or a breath of fresh air? How can you be the Lee Kuan Yew (Singapore’s transformational prime minister) of your generation?
For readers of this column, I challenge you to begin a different journey, a journey of transforming self. Like many of you, I too feel frustrated and helpless by observing all that is not working around me. Well now rather than feel helpless, choose to change yourself so you can feel good in this toxic environment.
To be able to know what makes you negative in your environment first identify your blind spots. Blind spots refer to areas our eyes are not capable of seeing unless we turn our bodies.
In personal development terms, blind spots are things about ourselves we are unaware of. One exercise to discover your blind spots is to identify all the things, events or people that trigger an adverse effect in you. That is those things that make you annoyed, irritable and in some cases unproductive. These represent your blind spots.
You will discover things about yourself that make you behave or react in a certain manner unknowingly. You might already think you know your blind spots but again they would not be blind spots if you did.
Why is important to know your blind spots? Discovering your blind spots helps you identify areas that require adjustment, because a lot of how you relate to people and events, both professionally and personally is influenced by your state of mind and this state in turn is influenced by environmental triggers.
With that information, you can formulate strategies for dealing with these triggers. If traffic jams and traffic hogs generally mess your day; find an activity that will avert your thoughts from focusing on this chronic situation. If dealing with a certain individual always leaving you feeling drained, assess the value of that relationship and decide whether it is worth maintaining. Do not allow things around you to influence the type of person you intend to be. It is possible to be the only sane person in
