Revealed: Secrets behind divorce cases in Kenya

The romance between an accountant with a well-paying job and a librarian started in 1988.

All was going well for the lovebirds. With a multinational employer, the man easily took a mortgage for a house in the upmarket Lavington estate in Nairobi.

But, sadly, his contract was terminated and he was deported to Kenya. As fate would have it, the Kenyan affiliate also fired him.

And when the audit firm that offered him a job later learnt he had sued their client (the multinational), they too fired him.

Soon after, his wife went for Master’s studies in the United States and left him taking care of their children from previous relationships.

He also allowed her to spend US$5,000 that he had in an account in the US to settle down. That was in July 1991, two years after their marriage at the Attorney General’s chambers.

The shocker came in 2000 when the woman filed for divorce,  citing adultery and cruelty.

The jobless man was living in the staff quarters of his wife’s former employer. His Lavington house was auctioned when hard times set in.

She accused him of housing a girlfriend in the servant quarters. He, too, accused her of adultery.

According to Justice George Kimondo neither party proved their adultery claims.

The man claimed maintenance arguing that he “came out of the marriage penniless.”

“He claims he provided for the petitioner at the beginning of her career. He took care of the children. He lost his job and property. He has no fixed income. His business in Muraka never flourished,” the judge observed in his judgment on March 19 this year.

The judge ordered that the man, now 68, and who has been out of a job for 18 years, be paid Sh20,000 monthly maintenance by the woman who has since relocated to South Africa.

“The sums shall be payable until the occurrence of any of the following events: The respondent becomes capable of supporting himself; or, he remarries; or, he dies whichever is earliest,” the judge directed.

This is just one of the many divorces cases that have been resolved by the Kenyan courts in the recent past. Many others are still lying in the courts waiting for judges’ final decision.

The fact is, the number of marriages on the rocks is on the rise in Kenya.

Records at Milimani Law Courts indicate that between 2001 and 2014 indicate a gradual increase in the number of couples seeking to annul their marriages.

In 2001, a total of 101 divorce cases were filed at Milimani Courts. The number rose to 115 in 2002 and then 206 cases  in 2003. The following years 2004, 2005, 2007 and 2008 recorded 296, 295, 357 and 369 cases respectively. Between 2010 and 2015, a total of 1,246 cases have been filed at the Milimani Courts. This year alone, 123 cases filed at Milimani.

Milimani Courts is just a reflection of what happens in other courts throughout the country.

The numbers would probably have been higher had the cost of filing for divorce been cheaper. At the moment, they cost ranges between Sh200,000 and Sh600,000 depending on the experience and seniority of the lawyer one engages. This is why many couples resort to private and out-of-court settlements.

According to statistics from the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics, the 2009 census 212,972 couples couples were recorded as divorced throughout the country.

The Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) handled 406 divorce cases last year, up from 389 cases the year before.

But, what is ailing marriages in Kenya, prompting couples to abandon their “better halves”?

The Standard has perused through scores of divorces cases in court and established that the “root of all evils”-money ranks high on the list of marriage wreckers in the country. Infidelity, the old-age sin, is another big spoiler of marital bliss.

Our findings were vindicated by Veronicah Mburu, a counselor, who cited infidelity, finances, lack of communication, mistrust, family ties and cruelty among the major causes of marriage break ups.

Though infidelity is the most likely cause of divorce, Ms Mburu said, cruelty, barrenness, impotence and rape are also major drivers of divorce.

“Problems can occur at any stage in a marriage relationship. It is normal to find it difficult to get along with your spouse due to differences in values or even deeper problems with the way you relate to each other.

You might find that you and your partner have different opinions on things like finances, how to raise your children and even how to deal with the wider extended family,” she said.

She adds: “There are five pillars of marriage: Love, respect, trust, forgiveness and communication. If any of them is lacking, there is a danger in the relationship,” Mburu says.

The counselor says a majority of young people are skipping courtship and getting married to strangers, “only discover a lot of things they never knew about their partners.”

Further, Mburu says that if couples don’t speak to each other, there is a danger of drifting apart.

There are couples who are afraid to speak out about issues, be it sex, or even annoying habits that are repeatedly blown out of proportion.

“If one gets into marriage and starts to dominate or to “parent” the other, there is a lack of balance in the relationship,” says Mburu, who also cites secrecy as another major cause of divorces.

According to FIDA, majority of divorces are triggered by financial disputes. “Most cases revolve around economics or provision within the family set up.

Wives will come complaining maybe their husbands are not providing and they are left with the burden of provision so they seek for divorce,” FIDA’s Deputy Executive Director Teresa Omondi-Adeitan explained.

John Swaka, a Nairobi-based lawyer agrees with Ms Adeitan sentiments, pointing out that people are more empowered with information on their rights even within marriages.