Man: I don’t feel ashamed to demand cash from wife

Nyanza, Kenya: For Vincent Onyango, 40, life has been so hard that he one day decided to demand upkeep from his estranged wife.

Now, the Children’s Department has ordered Roselyne Muyonga, with whom Onyanga sired two children, to pay him monthly upkeep of Sh3,000.

She risks a fine of Sh200,000 if she fails to comply.

Onyango lives in a mud hut with his two children in Emukowa village. He does manual jobs in nearby villages, but he says these are hardly enough to sustain his family.

The couple met in 2007 and fell in love. But in May last year, Muyonga left Onyango with the two children, a girl and a boy aged five and three years respectively.

“Now that she has gone away and found a job at a hotel in Butere town, I decided to seek help from the Children’s Department in order to have her support the children. However, it has been difficult to trace her to make any contributions to the children’s upkeep,” said Onyango.

But Muyonga says Onyango has failed to build a good house for the family. The man has no regrets for the action, which is rare in a country where it is women who usually demand upkeep from men.

“I do not feel ashamed to be coming out to ask for help from my estranged wife,” he said yesterday. “She is someone I shared a life with and as a result we have children who are our responsibility to take care of as a family.”

Occasionally quarrelled

The man says as a married couple, they occasionally quarrelled. “I loved my wife but I did not expect that she would one day leave me to take care of our children alone. When she was around, she used to remain at home to look after the children and I did my part to take care of them all.”

But speaking separately, Muyonga said the court order is unfair and she cannot raise the money.

“I left him because the house we were living in was leaking when it rained. Moreover, it belonged to my husband’s first wife who left him as well. When I told him to fix the house, he simply went to a nearby house whose owner had passed on and removed the grass from the roof to repair our house but it did not work,” she said.

She explained that taking grass from a house belonging to a deceased person to build a new house is a taboo in their custom. Muyonga, however said she is willing to go back to her husband and children if he builds a new house.

“I work as a waiter at a hotel in Butere town where I earn Sh2,000 per month. This is not enough to take care of my needs and pay for the maintenance required. I feel the decision to make me pay is unfair,” she said.

She added it was humiliating for her and her children to always run to her mother- in- law’s house to shelter during the rainy season yet her husband could not give an indication as to when he would fix the house.

“I am ready to go to court to contest the order for me to pay for the upkeep of my children when they are with their father. I was victimised because I have not refused to go back to him and the children,” said Muyonga.

Dishon Otuko, the Children’s officer in the area said the woman abandoned her husband and their children after he allegedly failed to build her a house.

“The woman complained that the house that they were living in used to leak when it rained. She demanded for a new house to be constructed for her but when it seemed to be taking long, she ran away to another man,” said Otuko.

“Discussions took place to find an amicable solution to their differences after the man reported that his wife had abandoned the children. According to section 127 of the Children’s Act the woman ought to be jailed. But because the children are small and the woman appears not to be merciful for deliberately abandoning them she will have to make the payments to the man,” said Otuko.

Onyango’s mother Rosemary Kachisa, whose house is nearby said she has to chip in from time to time to help her son raise the children.

“Sometimes he (Onyango) is out the whole day and returns late at night. Since he does not have a job, he sometimes resorts to drinking and the children are left with me,” said Kachisa.