Growth is a painful process

By Anne Mukei

Kenya: A close friend is expecting a baby. She has been looking forward to this, but now that it has happened, the joy that should accompany her pregnancy is missing. She is constantly sick, and her body ‘no longer belongs to her.’ After all the talk of how she would be talking to her baby bump from day one, what she is undergoing is a far cry from her fantasy.  

Thinking about my friend makes me think of a seed. Have you ever watched a seed grow? We plant seeds but never sit down to watch their minute-by-minute growth. If you are keen — and extremely lucky — you will see the shoot, that first leaf struggle to emerge. It is the kind of feat that inspires shouts of ‘hurray!’

Germination is never easy, and there is a struggle as the shoot pushes through. That deeply quiet period before a seed germinates, or the months of anticipation before a mother delivers are examples of the beginning of something beautiful that never happened easily.

There is always the rosy bit; yet behind that rosiness is the reality of being committed to hard work, dedication and patience. There are those moments of loneliness and questioning in any relationship, no matter how secure or good.

There is that difficult period before a project is delivered, when it is all hard work. And then there is that moment of indecision when one wonders whether they have made the right choice regarding their career.

All these moments weave magic into our lives. Nothing is ever ‘dead’ or ‘quiet’. Beyond the hard labour lies a bundle of joy, and beyond the hard work lies a well-delivered project and maybe a promotion.

Many, like me, have dreams yet to be fulfilled. Day in, day out, we build castles in the air. Soon enough, if we are lucky, our dreams are realised. For some, it is the dream of a fulfilling career; for others it is to have and experience the love of your life. For many, it is the dream of perfect health — the list is endless.

Strongest

Every day, we fantasise about our desires — to be like so and so, to have this and that. We have goals that we set out to attain.

As we laughed about my pregnant friend’s illnesses and bouts of nausea that made her rush to the bathroom constantly, we decided that no growth is easy, that growth is a painful process. There is a price for everything. And that is why they say ‘Easy come, easy go’. For it is what we acquire through sweat, blood and tears that remains most valuable. It is what takes time to grow that grows strongest.