Hail our roving members of county assemblies

By Mugambi Nandi
Twitter@MugambiNandi

Charles Dickens, in his book David Copperfield, mentions an old lady who expressed her indignation at the impiety of mariners and others, who had the presumption to go “meandering” around the world. We had forgotten this story until we read reports of the leisurely gallivanting overseas by Members of County Assemblies. We were pleasantly surprised to learn that the people’s representatives had returned to work. We last heard of them when they went on strike to protest the wide gap between their pay and that of their peers — Senators and Members of Parliament. Having put the small matter of salaries and allowances behind them, the MCAs turned peripatetic. (We suspect that the matter of remuneration was amicably and profitably settled quietly behind the scenes, to the merry satisfaction of the MCAs, and at great inconvenience to the taxpayer.)

It was a great relief to hear that the MCAs had not only resumed work, but had kept themselves wholly occupied roaming abroad, on study tours, familiarisation visits, induction trips and other useful excursions, interspersed with plenty of rest, relaxation and shopping. If you have been looking for your MCA lately and couldn’t find him, worry no more. He is safe and sound, somewhere on a sandy beach, in deep contemplation over how to improve your life by inventing a motley collection of unconstitutional taxes. What is more, you have personally paid for this worthwhile luxurious getaway.

In short, it is for your own good.  We are reliably informed that MCAs have travelled far and wide in the few months they have been in office, in search of skills, opportunities and investors. They have traversed oceans, lakes, deserts, mountains, valleys, cities and continents, for the sole purpose of improving your lot. The fatigue and risk of foreign travel has not deterred them from their patriotic mission and honourable intents. We understand that they have been to see the gorillas of Rwanda, the source of the Nile, the Kibbutz of Israel, the desert cities of the United Arab Emirates, the malls of Johannesburg, the beaches of Zanzibar, the Eiffel Tower in Paris, to name but a few places, all in their earnest desire to serve us. We are grateful for this monumental sacrifice.

We have not conducted a cost-benefit evaluation of all this travel and but we have no doubt whatsoever that it is most beneficial to the Counties and the Country as a whole. Who but a most patriotic person would leave the safety and comfort his family and friends, to exert upon himself the labour and pain of travel for the common  good? Who but such a patriot would do so, not just once, but several times, in a very short span of time?  We encourage our MCAs to continue making this sacrifice. The cost is nothing compared to the benefits. They should not rest. If the 32-page passport fills up too quickly, they must get the Jumbo 64-page passport. Diplomatic passports, which they should get as a matter of right and priority, would greatly enhance their standing before foreign immigration and Customs officers, besides granting them other privileges at international airports. Their status in society must not be taken for granted any more! If all the above reasons are not sufficient to justify these foreign trips, then we must allow our beloved MCAs the occasional trip away from the bad roads, mountains of garbage, power outages, demanding ingrates who wield the vote as though it were the Sword of Damocles, slums, and other symbols of our sovereignty. Not to meander too much ourselves, let us return to our sad old lady.  When reminded that some conveniences like tea (to which she was extremely partial) resulted from the objectionable practice of meandering, she emphatically retorted, “Let us have no meandering”!