In January, the smart man eateth where he worketh

GRACE NAKATO

KENYA: I always imagined that being a government employee was like the best job because of the good pay and lots of bribes. Alas! Donors came and told mwananchi that he has rights, and suddenly there was a need for transparency and declaration of wealth.

I thought that was the worst part, and boy was I wrong! Apparently, your boss determines whether or not you should keep any gifts you receive.

To an idle mwananchi like me, it would appear that this is the tool government uses to give out Christmas bonuses without raiding its own coffers.

Declaration of wealth

The Inspector General of Government’s latest report on the declaration of wealth has shocking revelations.

Apparently, during the period under review, the then State Minister for Luwero Triangle, Rose Namayanja, was ordered to sell off a gift of an in-calf heifer that she had received, and the proceeds handed over to the PS in the Office of the Prime Minister. 

Perhaps the State minister was a non-performer and the government decided it was a bribe or that she didn’t deserve it. I believe we would all have been better served if the gift was allowed to multiply for the benefit of the Luwero people, thus benefiting the community.

However, it may just be that the PS was being rewarded for the scandal where billions of donor funds vanished without a trace.

And you thought that was it? The executive director of Kampala Capital City Authority, Jennifer Musisi, who received two Indian sari fabrics, was advised to put them to personal use. She reports directly to the Head of State and we can see her hand in greening Kampala.

Of course, it could be that Janet (President Museveni’s wife) has adequate fabrics to make her own traditional wear and cannot be seen taking handouts.

I had thought that I would opt for the Church as an employer, but some genius beat me to it. Don’t worry I had no plans of prancing around the stage or selling prayers and holy water. I was only going to pose as a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and use my ready-made scapegoat.

Pastors are not trusted and I would be laughing all the way to the bank as he would be put to task to explain to the congregates and donors where the cash disappeared to.

It can be done, and has been done at Pastor Mwanje’s church. The church operates an orphanage and hired a couple to help out.

Donors

These two hacked into the pastor’s email account and informed the donors that the orphanage’s bank account had changed from Barclays to Diamond Trust Bank. They managed to receive and withdraw Sh3,000,000 to erect a school for the more than 500 vulnerable children.

Pastor only caught on to the trick when the donor enquired about the status of the school project.

He, of course, held a prayer meeting asking the fraudsters to come forward and seek forgiveness, but those prayers landed on stoney ground. My friend, this is Njaanuary and things are tough.