To Man U fans, hunger strike is better than suicide

By ANIL BAKARI

KENYA: There is nothing good about a rotten orange; it is rotten all through and smells bad.

You will not turn it around and try to bite it thinking it’s fresh; unless you want to end up with diarrhoea.

Sadly, that is what Manchester United fans are struggling to do. They think that coach David Moyes can turn the club and they have a bite at a fresh part! But wapi, ng’oo ( it’s all in vain, forget it)!

Man U is a rotten orange — at least going by its performance since the start of the season, and soothsayers believe the worst is yet to pass, which means its fans may diarrhoea till the end.

As things stand, it does not matter which team Man U plays against in the English Premier League; they will continue losing as that is fate. Somebody say oooh yes!

In fact, if we dispatch our league champions Gor Mahia to Britain, I swear they can thrash Man U — in their current form — like a thieving dog.

Surprisingly, this is a fact most Man U fans have not accepted as the league progresses. They believe something will happen and the team will come back on track.

Folks, forget it! Man U has gone to the dogs, and they are irredeemable this season. Oooh Yes! The writing is on the wall. That said, it was heartrending to hear that a Man U fan allegedly committed suicide after the team lost to Newcastle two weekends ago. Suicide? Man U? I asked myself because I could not believe. Here, suicide is synonymous with Arsenal FC fans as the team, once upon a time, was a perennial loser.

But thanks to their good form this season, Arsenal fans are now smiling all the way to the bar.

Well, it beats logic that one would take own life because of a game happening miles away. I mean, football is a beautiful game that should not attract death.

Pray

We pray that such a thing does not happen again to any football fan. But for Man U fans, why not go on hunger strike, which is a better option than suicide.

Just refuse to eat and pray hard until Moyes listens to your pleas and brings back the team to winning ways.

Hunger strikes and prayers have moved mountains, and they will certainly move Moyes. Oooh Yes!   

Arsenal has already taken off with the cup, so Man U fans better start the hunger strike now if they want their pleas to reach Moyes’ ears, who sadly has developed a thick skin. Anyway, all the best folks.