Wives get a raw deal in marriages

By SHIRLEY GENGA

KENYA: I believe dowry still has a central place in modern society. I believe in appreciating and celebrating those who raised a woman. However, I feel part of dowry should be paid directly to wives. I mean, wives work so hard in families. And with time, wives always end up being miserable because of marriage. From the time we women are young, we are fed with all this romantic ideas about marriage. The white ball gown dress is a great motivator to walk down any aisle, I mean who would not want to be the belle of the ball.

However, after you get the ring, get to wear a beautiful white dress, and get to be the envy of all your friends, what else does a woman get? Responsibility, more responsibility and even more responsibility!

Soap operas

When you look at marriage like a business transaction minus all the emotion, it becomes clear who the winner and loser is.

And yes, if we are to believe soap operas and chick flicks or what men say, it is the woman who pushes for marriage.

Allegedly, she begs or even manipulates the often-reluctant man down the aisle, yet ironically, the fact remains that in marriage, men always come out ahead.

What reasons do men give for supposedly not wanting to say, “I do”? Monogamy is overrated, plus marriage leads to loss of one’s sexual prime and loss of freedom.

The benefits, however, accrued to men in marriage are more than the reasons given for avoiding it.

They get a loyal wife, someone to carry out domestic duties — cooking, cleaning and whatnot, and emotional support.

Considering most wives work nowadays, men get financial support, as they do not even have to worry about being the sole breadwinner. 

Health wise, men are also big winners. It is a proven fact than married men live longer than men who remain unmarried in life.  Men generally seem to thrive in the marriage environment. Even the most unnoticeable of men seem to discover a stash of hidden swag once they walk down the aisle. They begin to walk with a bounce in their step, become more ambitious and confident at work.  Women, on the other hand, don’t seem to do very well when they become wives (except  maybe a few). They seem to get inflicted with ‘wife syndrome’ a.k.a “Mathe syndrome”. There is just something about being a wife that causes some women to diminish and to loose lustre.

All of a sudden, the once fabulous woman who wore the latest trends starts to run around in apparels that fit into the “Mathe clothes” category.

She basically starts wearing clothes that scream ‘I have been there and done that’.

Zombie

They turn into zombie like creatures who wear long-suffering faces. They appear like they exist only to pop out babies and to make their husbands happy. Even career goals seem to dwindle often after a woman gets married.

The reality is that women have more to lose than gain in today’s marriages.

 And that is why I believe every man who wants to wed should not only pay dowry to the parents, but also pay some to the woman he is marrying.