Men should get to the kitchen and feel the heat too

By SHIRLEY GENGA

The other day, I was hanging out with a group of friends and out of nowhere, the topic of women and domestication came up. One  of my  good male friends said he would not marry the lady he was currently dating. Her unforgivable crime was that she could not cook anything, let alone boil water to save her life.

And to my horror, yet another male friend joined the debate and claimed his wife had the nerve to attempt to impose diaper duty on him. His words exactly, “I cannot believe the women of today think that it is a man’s duty to help her look after the baby. Can you believe she wants me to help with changing the diaper and feeding the baby? I provide money for the child, but it is the woman’s job to look after the baby. Women today are misbehaving.” 

Feminist

At the end of the day’s hangout, I learnt an interesting but misguided truth; many years after the feminist revolution; and despite all the changes brought on by modernity, men in 2013 are still fantasising about, probably extinct, stepford type of wife aka the traditional wife.

Yet the very idea of the traditional wife in today’s time is not only unrealistic, but also very pretentious.

Today, we will live in a world where both men and women are getting up early in the morning to go to work. Both are bread winners.

And although according to traditional gender roles the sole purpose of a man is to be the sole bread winner, these days’ women also help in bringing home bread. In fact, it has become the order of the day so much so that no man, these days, wants a wife who has no job and does not bring any income home.

So my argument is, since women today help men in the manly role of providing for the family, why is it an abomination when a woman asks a man to help with domestic duties?

Because men refuse to help, women today are forced to overstretch themselves (do not believe that multi-tasking baloney). The modern woman is pressurised into playing multiple roles, she is the maid, the cook, the nanny, the perfect home maker and assistant breadwinner (It is overwhelming writing it all down).

Holding two jobs — one in the workplace, and one at home is a near impossible feat to do alone. Especially when you have a partner who throws in traditional gender roles as a defence when asked for help with domestic chores around the house.

Gender roles

What is so abnormal or criminal about a man staying up with the baby while his wife sleeps? Or a man cooking supper because his loving wife woke up very early to not only prepare him for work, but also the kids?

Since men and women are sharing gender roles whether men want to admit it not, if a man makes half a baby, let him do half the work to raise the baby. And since he eats half the food or more, and often gets the best of everything for the fact alone that he is a man, he should do half of all the kitchen work!

If a man can tie his own shoe lace, can run a successful business and can figure out how to drive a car, what is so complicated about wiping his own child’s poop or cooking ugali for the family?