To stop the devil causing road accidents sow ‘a seed’

By TONY MALESI

Despite my suspicion that weekends are made in china — they don’t last long, I always enjoy them. The last one was worse for it found me unwell. As I stared at the ceiling during my bed rest, nutty things began germinating on my small mind — suing the Government of Kenya.

Reason? It conspired with my teachers to indirectly shatter my dream of becoming a rocket scientist when they often pulled me out of very serious classes, in fact, during my favourite subjects — Mathematics and Science, in primary school for immunization against polio, measles, et al. A move that saw me miserably flunk exams, consequently amounting to very little in life, and to further scandalise it, here I was experiencing symptoms to aforementioned ailments all rolled up in one, unprofessional self-diagnosis lied to me. Symptoms persisted and it became apparent that I urgently seek medical attention.

However, the ailments a side, it’s my horrific trip to hospital what would have killed me, instead. I panicked. And being a socialite of my calibre, I had to be chauffeured to hospital. So I buzzed a taxi man and hurriedly duked to the washroom to spruce up myself and powder my nose, you know. Even before I was done, he arrived and off we left.

Rhetorically

What he had smoked, I couldn’t tell but it was evident he wanted to dispatch me to the other world, the speeding spoke it all. He was so reckless you would think we were late for an appointment in hell — with the devil!

Halfway I mock him by rhetorically asking when he began driving, much to my surprise he enthusiastically answered — sheepish smile on his face. Terrified, I loudly wondered “eh, wewe na hii speed yako!” He thought It was a compliment, and to ‘excite’, he stepped on the gas and the car literally began flying. He just wasn’t getting my sarcasm. With my heart in my hand, I kept quiet and left him yap to himself.

Incompetence

If indeed it‘s true women speak 7,000 words per day as opposed to men’s 3,000 words — on a ‘verbally busy day’, then he was doing badly. He kept running his mouth bothering me with details incompetence on this and that to no end. And when he realised I was not interested, he put on music. Interestingly, as the decibels struck a crescendo, the bugger got carried away and began some multitasking tomfoolery — head-bopping, clapping and whistling in tandem with the boom boom twaff rhythm. With my cat-like curiosity, I craned my long neck and peeped at the speedometer to know how dangerously fast the darn contraption was flying, the speedometer was hovering around 160kmph mark. Having sat back left initially, his disregard for rubble trips and bumps ensured that I found myself back right during disembarking…

How it ended is not important, point is, desperate-to-die motorists have found a place to tempt fate — on roads— with impunity under the watch of authorities. Pedestrians aren’t different, especially those who knows very well that they aren’t on steroids yet they ignore footbridges and attempt bolting cross multiple lanes super highway in a flash. I can’t wait for a fake pastor to blame such human errors and recklessness on the devil. Or ask us to sow a ‘seed’ to prevent accidents.