Are you too picky to find love?

By JENNIFER KARINA

There is a difference between being picky and realistic. At some level everyone needs to be picky about their partners. Marriage, after all,  is intended to be a permanent relationship, a life time.

Therefore, being a little picky, about the person you should engage with is a good thing. Just look at the reports we read daily about infidelity, domestic violence, abuse, separation, divorce and single parenting. For these reason, it is important to pay attention to the kind of partner that one should engage with, so yes, it is alright to be picky. However, as you are picky, it is important to be realistic.

Working with some singles aged between 32 and 40 years, it was interesting hearing their expectations. They listed some of the qualities they want in a spouse and they came up with an endless wish list, ranging from “Tall Dark and Handsome”, the model figure 36-26-36, kind, compassionate, attractive, affectionate, hardworking, romantic, great in bed; nothing short of fireworks, fashionable, courteous, smart, neat and well groomed, intelligent, impeccable, a good mother, a good father, a role model, God fearing, just to mention but a few.

Financial independence

Many wanted much more than companionship, security and stability, respect, honour, partnership and a good mother and father figure. It was clear that many women are perfectionists desiring perfect romance, excellent homes, idealised love and relationship to such a level that no man will live up to their standards. Gone are the days when provision was on the number one need for a woman.

In the 21st century, most women are becoming more and more self aware, confident, secure in who they are, financially independent and as yes, they know what they want and have no apologies; a soul mate, a lover, a friend, one who will understand and share similar emotions, ambition and vision.

On the other hand, the man continues to be very traditional and simple. All he needs is love, respect, honour and a good homemaker. There is something about a woman that is mysterious. She is always in search for the mister right. She believes that out there is a guy that is always better.

Every guy is good, but every woman believes there is one that is tailor made for her. Her standards are measured by her friend’s boyfriend and most importantly by her friend’s husband. What she does not understand is that her friend’s husband is a product of her friend’s input. The reality is that you will never find anyone with your entire wish list. This applies to both men and women.We continue to be perfected by time.