Men are dogs after all

By Tony Masikonde

Last week, yours truly was stuck in traffic and with nothing particularly appealing to watch out for (where are all the good legged women when you are bored in traffic jam).

So I decided to surf the channels and came across interesting stats on one of the radio stations.

The presenter was dishing out stats that I can swear most men in urban centres, regardless of their cultural persuasion, may have fallen victim to.

Bone

Turns out women actually use sex to reward good behaviour. Pretty much the same way you will throw your domestic mongrel a bone for staying awake the whole night and pretending to be guarding your home!

The study, conducted by www.ukmedix.com, spoke to some 2,000 young adults, all of whom were in cohabiting relationships.

Asked, ‘Have you ever used sex as a reward for your partner, either past or present?’ two thirds of women answered ‘yes’, while just eleven per cent of men said they had done the same.

Cooking

The most common behaviour rewarded with sex were helping around the home (38 per cent of women had rewarded their partner with sex for this), giving the woman a gift or treat (34 per cent) and looking after family members, including children (28 per cent).

Cooking a meal (21 per cent), and letting the woman take a break from sex for a while, were also frequently rewarded with intimacy.

Meanwhile, men were most likely to reward their partners with sex for letting them watch sports on TV or in real life, with 35 per cent of them admitting to this. And 17 per cent of men rewarded their other halves for allowing them a night out with friends.

So with this ammunition, I called a number of girls to see whether this was a mzungu thingy or even hapless young Kenyans could also make up the numbers.

Conso is very resourceful when it comes to town muchene (gossip) but what do you expect of a woman who runs a busy hair saloon in Nairobi’s CBD?

“So is it true you can use sex to reward for good conduct” I asked.

“We live in a market of randy men and disinterested women,” she dropped a bombshell. “So, if you are to get your man to do something for you, you got to withhold something that he values,” she explained casually, like she was analysing the stock exchange.

Money

I looked at Paula hoping to hear a different story seeing that she dates Brayo — a close buddy of mine. Despite their regular temper flare-ups when Brayo has drunk all the money and pretended that it has gone into repairing his jalopy, they are a good couple.

“Please tell me, you are not doing this to a brother?” I asked while shaking my head sideways.

“Why don’t you ask him? He knows that if he comes home by 9pm on Fridays, there will be rewards for him,” she replied with an evil smile.

Pavlov

Looks like our women too, have embraced ‘classical conditioning’, first discovered by famous Russian psychologist, Ivan Petrovich Pavlov while working with dogs.

Wait a minute… what do angry women describe the men they formerly loved but who have accepted and moved on?