Pastor’s body tumbles out of coffin

By MAUREEN ODIWUOR

Mourners in Muhoroni Constituency in Kisumu County were shocked when a pastor they were going to bury fell out of the casket.

The mourners who were carrying the body to its final resting place thought the pastor had risen when the casket suddenly became light as the man of God landed on the ground with a thud sending mourners gasping with shock.

Family members and the bishop presiding over the funeral moved closer in the hope that a miracle had happened. But no such sign was evident. The corpse stayed put and it became evident something terrible was amiss.

Plywood

Upon close scrutiny, they realised the bottom of the casket was made of plywood, which had split because of the weight, making the corpse fall out.

Mourners began frothing with rage because they had raised sufficient funds to give their beloved pastor a befitting send off. Some began asking where the committee chairman, who had been given money to purchase the coffin and a suit for the dead, was.

In fact, before the incident, those dressing the corpse wondered why the suit purchased for the bereaved seemed to be of suspiciously low quality compared to the Sh12,000 that had been set aside for the purpose.

A mourner and member of the funeral committee who preferred anonymity told Crazy Monday that Sh30,000 had been allocated for buying the coffin while Sh2,000 was set aside for shoes.

“At first people were dissatisfied with the suit, but it became embarrassing for everyone when the coffin bearing the pastor’s body split open right before the bishop,” he said.

On looking around, mourners realised the committee chairman was nowhere in sight, yet a quick decision needed to be made to avert what was turning out to be an embarrassing and bizarre situation. They couldn’t reach him on his phone either.

Buying a new coffin was out of question since of the Sh100,000 raised through harambee for the funeral, not one cent remained. An unfortunate incident of that nature had not been foreseen so no contingency fund had been set aside.

To complicate matters further, an elder asked the family to take the body back to the mortuary to create time for cleansing of the home since what had happened was taboo.

Sheep

“Chiaye nyaka yang edalani mondo ogol yamo marach ni (a sheep must be slaughtered to cleanse the home of bad omen),” insisted the elderly man.

But the bereaved family, all staunch Christians, refused to budge, saying they would not perform ungodly rituals. Eventually the church and villagers came to an agreement: The ceremony had to be completed with a burial. A mat worth Sh150 was quickly purchased and the pastor’s body wrapped in it and buried.

The men who took the casket from the mortuary later went to ask the carpenter why he had fashioned the bottom of the casket using plywood.

Quality

The man told them that the chairman of the committee, who was always regarded as a good friend of the deceased, asked for a coffin worth Sh4,000, and that was the quality he was given.

“What you pay for is what you get,” he said and continued with his work, oblivious of the heartache and embarrassment he had caused the bereaved family.

Goes without saying that the funeral committee chairman has not been seen since.