Maybe Zambia needs a president for life

By PETER WANYONYI

An old man is there to talk and when he dies, a library of memories and wisdom burns to the ground. This is why old men and retiring grandees are revered.

A leader might be rubbish while in office, but as soon as he heads into his sunset years and leaves the rostrum for younger cockerels, his wisdom becomes a much-sought-after commodity. But not in Zambia.

Not much news comes out of Zambia — as befits a country peopled entirely by Bantus. There is virtually no strife, there is lots of food to go round, a quiet resignation to being oppressed and a generally laid-back existence without making too many ripples. But Zambia is also an African country and that means the police have to harass someone.

Docile

There is nothing more frustrating to an African police force than not having opposition protesters to shoot, and not even the odd bank robber to unleash the force’s brutality on.

In the case of Zambia, even the university students are worryingly docile. The last time University of Lusaka students held a proper stone throwing, tyre burning, police chasing and property destroying strike was in 2003.

As a result of this serious boredom, police in Zambia have traditionally been unleashed on more inviting targets — retired presidents. Zambia is not the place to be if you want to be president and then retire or step down peacefully.

After leading Zambia to Independence from Britain in 1964, founding father Kenneth Kaunda led the country for 27 uneventful years, before being succeeded by Fredrick Chiluba in 1991.

Chiluba was terrified at the reverence with which Kaunda was still regarded by many Zambians. So set about persecuting the retired Chief, even once alleging that Kaunda was, in fact, not Zambian but Malawian.

Chiluba himself was not very Zambian in this regard, for his parents were rumoured to have been Congolese pygmies, hence his very short stature and size six feet.

Newspapers in Lusaka were ruthless, frequently describing his penchant for fine suits and two-inch heels in unflattering terms. One particular nasty journalist called the president “a high-heel wearing dwarf thief”.

Corruption

Chiluba stepped down in 2002 and was succeeded by his deputy, Levy Mwanawasa who immediately had Chiluba arrested for corruption. For six years, Chiluba was thrown in and out of the courts and jail, before Mwanawasa died of a brain haemorrage in 2008.

Rupiah Banda, a jovial man who — like every good man — allegedly has a strong liking for the bottle, succeeded him. Banda then made the very un-African mistake of losing to the gruff ex cop Michael Sata in the 2011 presidential elections. That’s when his troubles started.

Harass

His successor has made it government policy to harass and humiliate the old man, and went so far as to prevent Banda from attending the inauguration of President Uhuru Kenyatta.

Zambia’s incoming presidents need to remember that a boy who tries to wrestle with his father gets blinded by the old man’s loin cloth.

They need to let retiring presidents enjoy their golf (and tipple) in peace.