10 characteristics that tell the Kikuyu apart

It is believed Nyumba ya Mumbi is a close-knit community save for a few cases of political differences being witnessed.

They speak in one voice but what many are unaware of is that Kikuyus, especially in Central, have some issues that spark infights among the region’s five counties.

We are talking of self-stereotypes and some self-conceit.

Some are partially true but have wrecked marriages, friendships, and political ambitions.

Here are ten tags putting Okuyus on a collision course. Fact or fiction?

1) Stinginess

Though Kikuyu man is not a spendthrift, those from Murang’a are perceived as mean.

But because they don’t throw money around like confetti, you will hear people say “Wanyitia ta mundu wa Murang’a (You are stingy like a Murang’a man)”.

And though Murang’a has the most hardworking people in the informal sector, its men are also castigated as husbands who rarely visit their wives in the village.

2) Husband batterers

Nyeri women are deemed violent. It is claimed if you nag them, they do away with the ‘transformer’.

The husband battering christened ‘Nyerification’ is feared such that Kikuyu men outside this county think twice before marrying Rware women.

3) Short-tempered

It is said people from Kirinyaga County cannot yield in a war of words.

Kikuyus from other counties view them as rage queens.

Vociferous and vulgar when angered. It is said if you want to hear horrid words ancestors outlawed a century ago, provoke a guy from Kirinyaga.

They are good at ‘selling fear’ and their hot-temperedness is likened to that of Meru neighbours but are not so good at the physical face-off.

4) Supremacy

Like ‘Animal Farm’ characters, Kikuyus are not that equal. Past and geographical advantage makes Kiambu people boastful. They claim to be custodians of Uthamaki (Monarchy).

Though late President Kibaki deflated this ego in 2002, Kiambu dictates the political and traditional stances of Kikuyus and this is not liked in the other four counties.

A Kiambu man will derisively say “Tumundu twa Murang’a na Nyeri” (little people of Murang’a and Nyeri) and get away with it.

5) Music talent

Murang’a is the cradle of Kikuyu music but if you tell a guy from this county they have since lost this fame to Nyandarua County, you draw their ire.

Murang’a has braked on making artistes as the county of waru churns out talents in big numbers.

This has not gone well with Murang’a aka Metumi people and they are consoling themselves thus; “Hawa wa Nyandarua na Subukia walitoka Murang’a”.

6) Naive

Here is where the Nyandarua girl is. It is unanimously agreed she is wife material, a kienyeji but not-so streetwise.

Most of them come from religious backgrounds - Akurinu and other turbaned faithful.

7) Wife material

The woman from Murang’a prides herself as a homemaker par excellence. To her, others from the region are wild, aggressive, and husband batterers.

She competes for the trophy with Nyandarua woman who she views as gullible. She will scold successful Metumi guy; “Ni bibi ulikosa huku Murang’a ndio uendee Nyandarua?”.

8) Technocrats

Nyeri and Kirinyaga pride themselves as sources of technocrats, claiming Murang’a and Kiambu are good at churning out hawkers and farmers respectively.

Nyeri people consider themselves the force behind the attainment of independence.

9) Tycoon makers

Besides music, Murang’a people are proud of being the home of tycoons. They sired men and women who own Nairobi.You don’t visit Murang’a and fail to be shown the ancestry of the popular bank CEO.

10) Materialistic

Kiuks and money are like siamese twins they say, but amongst themselves, they fear Kiambu women when it comes to money and riches. They are considered materialistic, vicious go-getters and will do anything to get it.

It is whispered that in a marriage once you get rich, they accelerate your journey to the grave. They are also considered to be big-headed. Men from other Central counties are cautioned against marrying Kabete damsels.