God, in his wisdom, created man completely different from woman; yet he made sure that they complement each other’s roles to the extent that one cannot live without the other. Light is only produced when a negative and a positive current come together.
It is for this reason that I beg to differ with people who advocate for same-sex marriages. It is completely off the law of nature, not to mention the law of God. There are certain traits like the logical process inherent more in men than in women, or emotional strength more inherent in women than in men; hence the need for the two to come together to create a balance.
When God said, “No longer two but one”, he meant that their union symbolizes unity in becoming one body composed of many parts or roles. The fact that a woman is different from a man physically, emotionally, socially and psychologically; does not mean that she is less important than a man.
He created both ‘male and female’ in his image - both are equal in value in his kingdom. What is the role of man? Apostle Paul defines the role of man as being the head of the family. He is the bearer of vision because the head carries the eyes.
He is to give the wife guidance and vision for the family before they start the journey. Otherwise, they will always have wrangles and conflicts. The head carries the brain, and that is why God created man to be a logical thinker so that he can think out every issue logically for it to have meaning. He is the final decision maker although the woman can give her input in making that final decision. He provides spiritual authority for the wife. God has a specific design of order which begins with himself, then Christ (the church), man, woman and children.
What does God expect of man? First is to lead his family in spiritual matters as their overseer. This leadership is not the domineering kind because God meant that the husband accepts the role of the woman as an equal helper or partner and not someone to be ‘sat or trampled upon.’
The man is to emulate Christ’s leadership which can be said to lean more to being a source or origin of strength for the church as opposed to being bossy or authoritative and dictatorial. Second, the man should lead by emulating how Christ led the church with love to the extent of offering himself for her redemption.
He served his disciples selflessly for the growth and multiplication of the church. He led by example as opposed to giving instructions and commands. Third is to provide for his family. By the time God brought Eve into Adam’s life, he had ensured that everything else was in place for their provisions.
As such, the man should balance his time between family and work. Fourth is to submit, which is a mutual responsibility for both man and woman. Submission means obedience, compliance, surrender and giving in. The Bible says, “Submit to one another in the fear of God.” The issue of husbands submitting in love to their wives is corroded by the element of African traditions where the man was an authoritative, dictatorial and bossy leader.
Fifth the man should express his feelings freely and openly to the woman. Many men do not want to show their true feelings to a woman for fear that it will damage their ‘macho man’ image. When he suppresses these emotions, he ends up looking for the wrong avenues to express them. What is the role of a woman?
First is to be the body of the man by upholding and supporting him as the head. The head needs the support of the body, and vice versa.
Second, as the body which holds the heart, the woman should give the man emotional support by creating for him a relaxed, humorous and romantic atmosphere. Third, is to supply the provisions made by the man to the body for nourishment. She organises and manages these provisions for the growth of the body and family.
Fourth, the woman has a reflective role as she gives back what she receives from her husband. Once she finds the man God created for her, she becomes ‘bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh’. Fifth, she adapts to new environments very easily and quickly. Sixth, she incubates things and gives them life. If the man gives her the seed of love, she will incubate it and give him back a double portion of the love. Seventh, she should obey the man. Eighth, she should respect the man. Nine, she should submit to the man as he too submits to her.
Finally, she should be a home-maker, nurturer of the children and intervene on behalf of her family. The Bible records examples of such women: Rebekah, Abigail, Esther, Hannah, Elizabeth, Mary and many others.
Bishop David Muriithi
Founder & Overseer
House of Grace International Ministries
