I have been in a relationship with this guy for three years. Our love has blossomed and we are happy. He has, however, not proposed to me despite the fact that he has been to my home several times and my family members like him. I think he is taking time to propose to me because I have a daughter from a previous relationship. I’m sure he wants to marry me, but he is scared because of my daughter. We are both ready for marriage, but I need your advice on what I can do to get him to marry me. He could be thinking twice about our relationship and I don’t want him to leave me.
{Nancy}
Nancy, that man just needs time to make this marriage a permanent commitment. Rushed marriages do not last, so do not push him into it. Let it be formed on a good foundation and you will not regret it.
{Felix – Oyugisnet}
Ask him at an opportune time what plans he has for you and seek his thoughts about your daughter. After all, how many children are born in our houses by our wives, but
are not ours? If he comes around and marries you, you will get a good husband.
{Tasma Charles}
Women are usually anxious about marriage, but men take their time to propose. Your daughter may not be a big deal to him if he truly loves you. However, please note that visiting your home is not a guarantee that he will marry you. Keep your eyes open.
{Ogara George}
Nancy, you should count your blessings for having your boyfriend for the last three years. Your anxiety and worry to rush him into proposing is unwarranted because he may be strategising for the same sooner or later. So, just stay put.
{Etyang Denis}
Take time to establish what relationship you have with this man because he may be only interested in a casual relationship and not marriage. If you want this thing, you have to be patient and know that Rome was not built in a day. Take your time dear and know that men are indeed from Mars.
{Outha ja - Luhano}
All marriages grow from existing relationships, but I wonder what makes you so sure that he is going to marry you? Do not rush things, but wait to hear what he has in mind. Asking does not hurt only that you should not push him to think that you are desperate to get married. Have a positive mindset and remain calm.
{Ouma Ragumo – Ukwala}?
My take
Another man’s baby:
Nancy, when it comes to relationships and marriage there are three things that scare men out of their skins; one, proposing to a lady; two, proposing to a lady who has another man’s child or children and three, the thought that their wife could be having an affair. You seem rather certain that this man is in love with you — the signs are all right, but I’m afraid your fears may be right; he may be holding his horses over the young girl. However, this is neither about you nor your daughter, it is about that other man and his family members.
Essentially, a man is created to accept anything that comes with a woman he loves. Your daughter may not be a big issue to him, but as long as he is in love with you he can live with whatever you bring into the relationship. His main worries may be the reaction of his family on marrying a woman who has another man’s chid and the other man.
Family members:
One thing about family members (especially the female ones) is that they have untold influence on the males in the family. They are known to use that tired line... “Why are you bringing a ‘used woman’ into the family while there are many ‘fresh’ women out there?” In essence there is no good answer to this question and no man can justify bringing a woman who has another man’s child into the family, they just force it through.
The other man:
Nonetheless, while the above factors may be contributing to his indecisiveness about marrying you, my thinking is that his biggest hurdle is not your daughter, but this other man. A man can easily raise another man’s child if only he knew that his efforts and sacrifices would be appreciated someday. Men have been known to raise other people’s children only for their biological father to show up asking for their children later in life. Because of this, he may always have to look over his shoulders.
Time:
When it comes to marriage, men always prefer taking time to really think through it before making that bold step. I think he is just uncertain for now. Exercise some caution because any pressure from you towards getting him to marry you may be taken as a sign of desperation, which will only help to push him away. Having stayed with you for three years, he could be on the verge of marrying you. Being that you are one ball down because of your situation, I urge you to play it safe.
{Taurus}
