I have been dating this girl for the last six months. I love her and have even taken her home to meet my parents. We are already planning to get married. The problem is about a month ago, I found her in her ex-boyfriend’s room in college in an uncompromising situation. She is still in college and the guy works in the same town where she schools. This is far from where I stay and I became uncomfortable with this.
I talked to her about it and warned her about seeing this man and she promised to change. Sometimes when I call, she refuses to pick my calls and I suspect that she is in this man’s place. I have found her there twice. I don’t know what to do because I love this girl. Please advice…
Your take:
Gordon, your girlfriend is still in love with her ex and that is why she is still keeping in touch with him. You may be her back-up plan. The fact that she schools near his place means that it is easier for their affair to bloom. Don’t waste your love on somebody who does not reciprocate. There is a nice girl out there for you so don’t accept to play second fiddle.
{Oyoo Wycklife}
Gordon, your girlfriend has revived an old affair with her ex-boyfriend and she is not willing to end it soon. Please end this relationship and get a woman who is faithful and will make you happy. It is obvious that your relationship with this girl is doomed. Severe links with her before it is too late.
{Felix – Oyugisnet}
It is understandable that you took an initiative to introduce this girl to your parents knowing that you were going to marry her.
But her actions in the recent past speak volumes and it seems she has no feelings or respect for you. Catching her red-handed twice in her exs house tells a lot about her. You need to be wise and get a woman who loves you.
{Etyang Denis – Malaba}
I think you trusted this woman too fast. Before committing to her did you know why she stopped dating her ex?
She seems to be unfaithful and she will make an adulterous wife. Thank God because you are still in the courting stage. Do not lose hope as there are many good women out there who are wife material.
{Ragumo}
You are wasting your time and energy with this woman. Even if you marry her she will still cheat on you with this man so you better let go of her now. Or if you want the relationship to continue, ask her what the problem is.
If you cannot solve the issues she raises, look for another woman. It is not a crime if you cannot win a particular woman’s heart.
{Tasma Charles}
Gordon, mistrust and suspicion are what are ruining your relationship. For now, you are still courting and you can suppress this negative energy, but imagine how bad things would get once you get married?
Please deal with these issues before you walk down the aisle. This woman needs time to sort out her issues otherwise they will spill into the marriage.
{Pastor Allan – Kericho}
If this is the woman you have presented to your parents as your future wife then you have made a terrible mistake.
All signs are clear that this woman will make a bad wife. Save yourself the embarrassment and trouble and sever links with her immediately. I am sure you will get a better replacement.
{Dwayne Carter}
Gordon, your suspicions may be right. You should have found out under which circumstances your girlfriend parted ways with her former boyfriend before you committed to her. I believe there is something strong that is pulling her towards her ex.
You need to find out before she pulls a shocker on you. You may love this woman, but she is not for you. Let go of her; if she is your wife she will come back.
{Ogara George}
My take:
College girls will always be college girls.
Gordon, it is like you are trying to get a flight attendant to fly a plane. Your fiancÈe is a college girl and she is bound to think like one. Even though you did not mention her age, my assumption is that she is in her early 20s and that explains her immaturity.
College girls will always be fascinated by wealthy men whom they can show off to their friends.
She may be keeping this man so that he can sustain her expensive lifestyle. Working class men are attractive to college girls because they come with money, gifts and flashy outings and give them a royal status in college. So I am sure the many warnings you have given her have fallen on deaf ears.
Remember as human beings, that which we have been forbidden from touching is what we want strongly.
Not ready for marriage
Evidently, this girl is not ready for marriage. If she is in her early 20s, she may want to enjoy the good things in life before settling down in marriage.
If she were committed to getting married to you, she would not be seeing her ex-boyfriend.
I don’t know who introduced the idea of marriage but if it was you, you need to shelve these plans for now and see how things work out.
Give her some time and space before making a decision.
Go easy on the marriage
Gordon, marriage is not something you ought to rush.
When it is time, things will fall into place and if the two of you were meant to be together, you will both be planning towards your big day.
For now, focus on enriching your life and a good wife will come along.
It may be your current girlfriend or another woman.
Just live your life and be open-minded.
{Taurus}
