These days, it’s common to see many relationships fall apart before reaching the altar. Too many couples separate after years together, while others settle for informal cohabitation.
Despite these dating failures, people still desire to marry their significant others, but something isn't quite right. Perhaps this resonates with your own experiences. You find yourself in unsatisfying relationships and wonder why marriage hasn't happened yet.
If you never received closure regarding the end of a serious relationship you hoped would be "the one," consider these points for clarity:
You have unrealistic expectations:We all want an attractive partner. There's no shame in declining a relationship with someone you don't find appealing, as it can harm the relationship long-term.
However, many people focus on an idealized partner: a tall, dark, handsome Christian man with a six-pack, who can afford extravagant shopping trips and vacations, has no children, and is eager to marry you. This unrealistic list goes on.
If you move from relationship to relationship because someone doesn't meet every criterion, prepare for potential loneliness.
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Dating emotionally unavailable individuals or those who don't believe in marriage rarely succeeds. You may waste months or years hoping for change, which seldom occurs.
Avoid dating people who don't share your goals or are unavailable, such as married men or committed bachelors.
You’re unclear about what you want:Various situations can hinder your pursuit of a happy marriage. Perhaps you're preoccupied with pursuits like a master's degree, career advancement, or parenting, neglecting your relationships.
For a relationship to progress to marriage, you must demonstrate commitment. While other areas of life are important, strive for balance.
Show your partner that you value them and that external factors don't consume your life. Otherwise, they may feel unneeded and seek a partner who appreciates their value.
Your sole goal is marriage:Prioritizing marriage is important, especially if you value having children within a marital union.
However, some individuals focus solely on marriage to keep pace with friends, impress relatives, or host a lavish wedding, disregarding the marriage itself.
While wanting to get married is understandable, consider what you bring to the relationship beyond physical intimacy.
Excessive focus on marriage can project desperation, deterring genuinely marriage-minded individuals. This can lead to early relationship breakdowns.
You’re not ready:It is crucial to enter a relationship with the right attitude and a marriage-oriented mindset. You must be clear about seeking a path to marriage and be willing to develop the necessary skills for married life.
Honest self-reflection may reveal your role in past breakups. Consider genuine criticism from loved ones and seek therapy if needed.
The obstacle to marriage might be internal, not external. Identify and address these issues before entering your next relationship.
