Hi Chris,
My husband and I don’t seem to make love as much as we used to, and I’ve noticed that we’re not as happy together as we used to be. But is this true? Does a couple’s happiness depend on how often they make love?
Happy Lovers
Chris says,
Hi, Happy Lovers!
When psychologists ask couples about their happiness, they usually say that it doesn’t matter how often they make love. However, when researchers measure a couple’s unconscious feelings about each other, rather than relying on what they say, the couples who make love more often are clearly happier than those who don’t.
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It’s not that the low sex couples are lying. They really believe what they say. But they’re also fooling themselves. Whereas their unconscious responses are telling the truth.
This means that how often you make love to your partner affects your relationship, whether you realise it or not. For both men and women.
So, since it matters so much, how do you make sure you have a good sex life with your partner?
Start by making sure you spend a lot of time together and never let work come between you.
Say ‘I love you’ often, every day, and never take each other for granted.
Make sure you know what’s going on in each other’s lives. Talk about your jobs, your daily schedules and any problems at work or in your wider families.
And make sure you’re having good sex because quantity definitely depends on quality!
This means being honest with each other about what you need. And focusing on giving each other pleasure. Being curious and creative, making sex interesting with new positions, toys, fantasies, places and times.
And having a healthy relationship with your own body. No hang-ups about appearance, weight or whatever.
Good couples are also confident and relaxed about sex. They make time for lovemaking so there’s no rush and neither of them is tired or stressed.
That’s you?
Are you? Then there’s a good chance you’ll be happy forever!
All the best,
Chris