Two can play the game: Master the art of dating like men

They say what a man can do, a woman can do better, especially in the intricate dance of romance. In the realm of dating, it’s wise for women to observe and even refine the approaches that men use. Although we often wish that dating were simpler, there are unwritten rules to follow before entering an exclusive relationship.

Administrative Manager Christabel Orwa recommends keeping your options open until you find that perfect match. A strategy that perfectly complements Nairobi’s vibrant social scene, where speed dating events offer discerning singles ample opportunities to connect and mingle.

“Women can speed date or multi-date without necessarily involving intimacy. It is a way to eliminate those who don’t meet their ideal match to avoid wasting time and for them to be one step closer to finding their partner,” says Christabel.

To increase your chances of finding the ideal suitor, you need to be comfortable with casual dating. This means exploring interactions with different potential lovers to find out what you want until you get into an exclusive relationship.

Men have perfected this art form for ages, guilt-free, while it is only in recent years that women have taken to social media to talk about embracing casual dating amidst societal judgment.

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Master the game

Journalist Collins Oduor lets us in on men's dating secrets that women can cleverly adopt to enhance their own romantic endeavours.

“Women should go on dates with an open mind and simply enjoy themselves,” Collins shares. “Men typically don’t expect that every date must lead to something extraordinary; any outcome is fine as long as we have fun.”

In the early stages of dating, Collins emphasises the importance of emotional detachment. He notes that when women maintain a level of independence, it not only makes them more intriguing but also motivates men to pursue them more actively. “You can still build meaningful connections without letting your emotions run wild,” he adds, suggesting that keeping feelings in check helps in recognising both the green and red flags.

Journalist Fay Ngina echoes this sentiment, advising women to avoid overthinking every interaction, a habit that often breeds insecurity. “Most of us tend to read too much into every conversation and gesture,” she observes. “For example, a simple good morning text without an emoji might be interpreted in many ways. Instead, take things at face value and ask for the reassurance you need for a healthy dating environment.”

Choose yourself

There's a persistent notion that men don’t know what they want, a myth born from their varied dating choices. Yet, if you look closer, you'll see that despite their reputation for dating around, many men actually have a clear vision of what they're seeking. To avoid losing themselves in the dating game, Fay advises women to set firm boundaries and be as straightforward about their desires as men are.

Nursing student Caroline Abok, inspired by Steve Harvey’s 'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man', says, “As a devoted student of the book, I learned the importance of being strategic in dating. It’s crucial to prioritize your needs and desires by evaluating whether a relationship truly offers what you’re looking for and to assess compatibility in every aspect of life.”

Caroline also emphasizes the value of investing in oneself, cultivating friendships and pursuing personal interests that stand independent of dating. “It’s essential to know your worth by pouring into the things that enhance your life. I’ve learned that men love to show off an intelligent partner who exudes respect and success,” she adds.

Adapt to changes quickly

She further advises women to embrace the dating experience without dwelling on setbacks. Explore and savour each encounter, but if a relationship doesn’t work out, allow yourself a moment to grieve before moving on. While men might move on quickly, that shouldn’t mean women have to suffer longer than necessary. Instead, take each experience as a learning opportunity, adapt swiftly, and never let a failed encounter define you.