Top 10 lucky things being behind Scene@ as Smitta Smitten

 Fidel Castro Photo: Courtesy

So here we are, thirteen years since this grand adventure called ‘Pulse’ began.

And I could say how, so very far, it has been fun; n how fast time has flown – but I could also just tell you the top ten lucky things about being behind Scene@.

One – being a brand name. A long time ago, I actually had a name, like the one that is still on my birth cert. Then, thirteen Decks ago, I put on a cap, put pen to paper under a pseudonym ‘Smitta Smitten,’ n since then, thaz watt y’all holla me as.

Two – Meet celebz Thaz the second fun thang about this joboski – you get to meet practically every celeb you wanna, espesol in the music industry.

 Like last nite @ the PMVA awards, I feel so sure I gotta meet the Timmy T Dats [n dat tasty chicka of ‘Rede].’

Three – Diss Celebskis Since I’ve known ya for thirteen years, I know yu like it when celebskis are dissed (in fakt, thaz how I first became ya fave-rite).

Yu don’t like Akothee, lez say, yul luv it if I call her a booty-shakin’ rachetski. I shud be called ‘Male One’, ka Femme, for all the melee we’ve letad in diss.

Four – le parties Then therez all the bashes we been to since this mag began, thateen miakas ago.

Aki they must be kedo five hundred n more, the last one being the PMVA award bash at the Serena last nite. Snow wonder we got to chora the kitabu: ‘Nairobi – A Night Runner’s Guide.’ Coz we own duski.

Five – Chelsea FC When Pulse started, we were three Chelski fans in Nai – me, Shaffie, n a third dude I donno. N the lord, n Roman Abram-so-rich know how we’ve popularized le top Blue club (while I named my dot’e Chelsea, Shaffie called his ‘Milan,’ which makes le Smitts the top fan).

Six – Chickas

Lemme jus’ say, n ‘Team Mafis’ saccos will be green about this, being a top insider of Pulse helps a dude with le dudettes (it even helped me pata le Flobey, kwanza at a rooftop bash). T’least they don’t think yur serial, n will beba n ‘Onyancha’ dem dameskis, lol.

Seven – Vodoski!

Six months before ‘Pulse’ began, I waz just malizaing an SLS study stint in Sankt Petersburg, with my mentor Prof Misha Iossel (n international gossip Josip Novakovich, both of whom are around). Then, there waz brand ‘Smirnoff’ sponsoring events all o’er the place back then; n suddenly, thru this space, ‘vodoski’ waz the thing to drink – long b4 ‘Jameson’ shewed up on le scene.

Eight – you get to travel

Speakin’ of ‘all o’er the place,’ the other lucky thing is chapaing local laps, courtesy of ‘Pulse.’ Next week, imam in Ameruca, early last month twas off to Kisii by chopper, this weekend t’may be Seven Islands, Watamu, we get to see ole pals like Italiano Roberto Lenzi.

N e’en when we fika ‘majuu’ like Espanola, the scene from there still gets to be in, neat.

Nine – Sminglish

Jamaicans n Naijos get ter do their funny pidgin, in here, me n my teens also getta mess with language kidogo (though Matiangski is still the top dawg).

Iffa e’en gotten to go colleges to ongea about the ‘anarchical use of language’ on this space – n thaz not lackadaisical but downright lucky n even lachrymatory for a language lackey like me (pliz ‘like’ this)!

Ten – the Pulse Crew

But the best part of being the ‘Scene@’ guy is all the lifelong buddies I’ve gotten to make o’er the years – from Pulse ed Stevoski aka ‘Thamba’ to his depski Ndoch (whom I knew in colle) to Carol ‘CNN’ Nyanga with whom we began, to the Nyamira mamacitas Tracy Gisare n Rose Kwambokski, to party boy Solo Koko, to my guy JT, n recent returnee Elenoar Nandwa, to dear buddy Harry the Illustrator, to sweet Sheila Kimani to my gal Crystal Okusa (who took on ‘Kilimani Moms’ n lived to tell the tale) to ... (here, I hear Ndoch yelling: ‘sasa wewe hizo salaams mingi unatuma, unafikiria uko kwa show ya Shout Outs uko Mumias enye jina ‘Bukusu FM?’) Nawapenda wo!