Careless Kenyan men who sire children out of wedlock

 They carelessly sire out-of-wedlock children whom they don’t seem to be in a position to support financially Photo: Courtesy

That many men have one or two children born out of wedlock that their partners have no clue about is no news. This sad reality is always laid bare after the death of such men. And in most cases, this happens if the deceased is wealthy and with an estate worth fighting for.

We witness this after the death of prominent men, especially politicians, popular business men and other tycoons. But, curiously, if the deceased happens to be a ‘hustler’ with nothing to his name, none of the women with whom he has sired ‘illegitimate’ children ever crawl out of the woodwork to lay claim.

What Crazy Monday has, however, discovered is that there are men in this country who make those with one or two out-of-wedlock kids look like amateurs in the game.

These types are seemingly the most fertile, yet most irresponsible men around town. They not only recklessly sleep around just for the heck of it; they carelessly sire out-of-wedlock children whom they don’t seem to be in a position to support financially.

Men itching for polygamy

Put differently, these are men who are always itching for polygamy, but their means just can’t afford them the luxury, rendering  them mere sperm donors or closet polygamists.

So if you thought Asentus Akuku Danger — the most popular Kenyan polygamist who is reported to have married 130 times, divorced more than 80 of his wives and sired more than 200 children — was one of a kind, think again. As it has emerged, there could be way too many men out here who are desperately trying to emulate — if not outdo — Akuku, albeit secretly.

Take, for instance, a caller who shocked Classic FM’s popular breakfast show listeners a fortnight ago. While contributing to a debate, the unidentified man mentioned in passing and rather casually that besides his four official children, he has fathered 23 others out of wedlock.

Listeners were left in shock, with women going ham on him, especially after he owned up that he is neither involved in bringing them up nor supports them financially, citing financial constraints. He said something to the effect that four kids are already a headache to him and if he was to be involved in raising the other 23, his life would be a living hell.

Crazy Monday got curious and picked up the matter. And as we have discovered, the Classic FM man is not alone. After nosing around, we were introduced to a city-based young man with a strange story, but was not willing to talk to media until we assured him anonymity.

Reckless cassanova

At the ‘tender’ age of 32, Max*, an unmarried resident of Nairobi’s Roysambu estate, has sired eight children with six different women. His children are aged between two and eight years old. You can only guess how many he will have when he hits his 40s or 50s.

“I have been at it for a while now. I began making babies way back in campus when I was only 23,” he giggles as he playfully stroked his goatee. He said the first time a woman with whom he had been fooling around told him she was pregnant was way back in 2006. He was in first year of his studies in campus.

“That was the most shocking news I had ever received. I panicked. Luckily for me, the lady was from a well off family and never bothered me for financial assistance. Her family took care of everything,” says the former Kenyatta University student.

When it rains, it pours. He says he got another woman pregnant that very first year in campus. By the time he cleared university, he had already fathered three children with three different female students. Asked how close or involved he is in the upbringing of his children, he says: “Besides the two I got from my then live-in girlfriend, who could not stand me and left last year, I hardly participate in raising the rest.”

Max, an electronic appliance technician, says he is not in good shape financially speaking, and some of the women he has sired children with understand that so they hardly put a lot of pressure on him.

“My relationship with some of the women ended acrimoniously following misunderstandings over child support. But others understand my circumstances and never bother me because it’s them who asked for babies anyway,” he says, adding that in a few cases women have struck deals with him, only to start nagging him for child support later.

Hunk trapped by women

“At some point after campus I had a lady whom I requested to abort because I was not ready to support her baby, but she insisted she had been yearning for a baby from me and was going to keep it, only for her to start disturbing me later and asking for financial support. Mark you that was not the first time such was happening,” he says.

Max goes on to regale this writer with tales of circumstances under which some of his women trapped him. Without admitting that indeed he is a Casanova, he confesses to having it very easy with women, partly, because of his light skin, stunning looks and athletic body.

“Some of them throw themselves at me. Others openly tell me all they want is to have cute babies with me,” he says. He told this writer that he always makes it clear that he has no money and in some cases his women have, sadly, procured abortions. But the few who refuse to do so end up carrying the pregnancies to full term, a phenomenon that has resulted into the big number of children on his name.

Is sowing wild oats a guy thing?

“As a man, sometimes you sow wild oats on a Saturday and come Sunday, you go to church and pray for crop failure! For me this backfires most of the times. But when I insist on termination of pregnancy, they refuse and that’s how we always differ. Such was the case in two of the incidents,” he explains.

Max says it’s never his wish to sow wild oats, but most happen by accident. When asked about use of contraceptives or sheathing up when at it, he scoffs: “I just can’t use protection. I find it cumbersome and very inconveniencing. The only woman with whom I recall using contraceptive was my live-in girlfriend.”

As to whether the women know that they have such a huge family of half siblings out there, the supposedly randy young man said his immediate former girlfriend knows two of the women and their kids exist. He said he is mulling organising a mega family reunion in future.

“My immediate ex used to live with me and was keen with my lifestyle. She knew I have two women with kids out there. I, however, can only imagine if I was to organise for all of them to meet, it would be one hell of a family reunion,” chuckles Max.

Sounding remorseful, max says he never intended to be a benevolent sperm donor that he is. But, he argues, things just happened, adding that, besides the embarrassment of not being able to support them financially, he somehow still finds it boast-worthy to be a father of many children.

He argues that sowing wild oats is a guy thing and many men are always itching to be like him, it’s just that they lack opportunities he gets. The technician, whose loins seem to be on fire all the time says he, however, doesn’t intend to continue making babies with random women. He hopes to soon get a better-paying job, settle down and start a legitimate family.