Nothing softens a man's heart like a woman's tears

Life can be quite interesting.  Last week, out of the blue I encountered drama fit for Riverwood and Nollywood. I was at the airport to catch a flight to a coastal destination. As fate would have it, I was travelling on a budget airline. We were many on this flight.

I think the shilling has taken quite a beating and Kenyans have resorted to all manner of tricks, saving and innovation to get business done. In front of me, there was this girl who looked excited to be making this trip. Going by her excitement, I can safely assume that either she was either travelling by air for the very first time or whatever was awaiting her on the other day was simply irresistible.

When she got to the weighing machine, she was informed that she would have to check in her luggage. Being a budget flight, that needed payment. She must have had perhaps just fifty bob on her. As soon as she was told to cough up Sh2000 for her luggage, tears started flowing like Mzima Springs.

It did not help matters that the staff member, a woman, did not see much ado about payment for overweight luggage. Me too. But the girl treated us to some serious waterworks for the next ten minutes as we edged closer towards the counter. Frantic calls looking for help did not help either. This actually made it worse because as every call ended, it triggered another round of sprinkler-like waterworks.

It took the intervention of someone senior in the airline to calm her down and allow her luggage to go through, with a firm understanding that it would be paid for at the destination prior to baggage claim. This got me thinking. Two weeks ago, I was at a house party where the host, a young professional lady, narrated how she was arrested for a wrong turn by traffic policeman.

As soon as the man entered her car and she made the initial pleas of innocence, with little success, she opened the ‘tap’. Granted, she had a lot in her mind, juggling her professional career and her boyfriend who was proving quite hard to tame. So the arrest was made at the right time for the waterworks.

Cry a river

She confessed that she cried so much that she was impressed by her showing. It got to a point where the policeman, was consoling her and even offered to drive her to a petrol station so that she could compose herself and drive off. The cop must have cursed the day he became a cop. The more he consoled her, the more she wept. He even offered to call someone to come and pick her up.

The long and short of this story is that she put up a superb half-hour show-- crying a river and all-- during rush hour when traffic is at its craziest and managed to get the cop out of her car without parting with a single cent. In fact, since she uses the same route, the cop and her are now buddies. I just wonder how she will get herself out of trouble the next time the same cop arrests her.

Are the waterworks a panacea to every situation for girls? Perhaps. But now that I have let this little secret out, please don’t misuse it. And by the way, you owe me beer, I don’t just give free advice.