What women want in bed.

The blog has gone viral on Tumblr within weeks as ladies describe what they want openly and often in graphic fashion

A new blog seeks to empower women by allowing them to write anonymously about their sexual experiences, needs and desires.

'How to Make Me Come' has gone viral on Tumblr within weeks as ladies describe what they want openly and often in graphic fashion.

It was set up by a 27-year-old writer who goes by the nom de plume Sylvia following an unsatisfying experience of her own.

“Suffice to say, it was not the greatest experience either physically or emotionally," she told The Times.

"I felt like he misunderstood what I was going through sexually and I was unable to talk about it in the moment."

•             Scroll down for selected posts from the blog

A lack of communication seems to be a common theme throughout the entries, with women frustrated at their inability to discuss sex and orgasms openly with their partners - whether they are a one-night stand or partner for life.

Sylvia points out the women want to please, not hurt their partner's feelings or end up nervous and awkward with someone you don't know that well.

But after discussing her own bad experience with a friend, where they talked about all their sexual experiences, she realised that opening up was key.

“We’d never discussed sex in so much detail and so honestly. At the end I felt very charged up about it and thought that I needed to give this feeling to other women...

"It became obvious very quickly that women are itching to talk about all this.”

Introducing the blog, she writes: “Imagine you could talk to a past or future sexual partner, free of judgment or repercussion. What would you want them to know?”

It continues: "The female orgasm can sometimes be challenging to achieve and/or talk about, but it goes beyond that.

"When we talk about female orgasm, something deeper is at play — for one, the societal assessment and conversation of female sexuality; the consequences of which bleed into the areas of our lives far outside the bedroom.

"We wanted to start a dialogue about how women achieve sexual pleasure; something that is often ignored, devalued, or misunderstood."

After petitioning friends to contribute, the blog was quickly inundated with posts as the word spread.

However more than half of its readers are male - proof that men are taking notice.

Sylvia told The Times that many of the stories contradict one another, which shows the importance of women communicating their personal sexual preferences to the person they are sharing their body with.

"Whether it’s a one-night stand or a serious long-term relationship, we all have to admit that we can’t read our partners’ minds and they can’t read ours," she adds.

"We need to speak up.”

She believes that women also want to feel safe so they can experience "letting go and experiencing true pleasure".

Be patient and listen

Let me tell you about the first time I really came.

You were patient and kind. You made me comfortable. Relaxed. Willing to be vulnerable. I fell in love with you. And then, all that made me confident. I told you exactly what to do.

The second I did, you listened, you followed instructions, and suddenly, on a Saturday afternoon during magic hour, the sunset filtered through wooden blinds, it felt just like that moment in a movie when the camera zooms into someone’s iris, and you see all the roygbivness of life in super speed motion, a crash of sounds, smash cuts to dancing, space travel, people f******, ending with an opera singer’s chandelier smashing high note.

Women - consider your own needs, as well as theirs

I have faked A LOT of orgasms. For so long, my self-esteem has been hanging not by a thread, but by a tiny tiny shaving of a fingernail from a nail file. I’ve wanted guys to like me so badly. I’ve needed their validation in place of my own... I’d made sex for the man and not for myself. I would be too ashamed to say, “Hey, this isn’t working for me,” because I would want them to think I was easy going and had had tons of experience. I’d be so concerned with their finishing that I’d ignore my own. I would be too frightened to admit I wasn’t sure I knew what I wanted.

It's not all about intercourse

For me, while actual intercourse is obviously awesome, I think that everything leading up to it is equally, if not more important. Listen closely because this will be incredibly helpful when you are lucky enough to get me into your/my bed.

Do:

Take the lead. I love it when a guy has initiative and makes me feel wanted. Make me feel like you can’t wait to take my clothes off. That’ll make me want to take my clothes off. (See how that works?)

Tease me. Take your time to really turn me on. My lips, ears, neck, inner thighs, lower stomach, etc. all need attention. The longer you go without jumping face first into my crotch, the better it will feel when you finally get down there. And it will make your job a lot easier.

Take your time to learn my body. What worked on your ex, might not work on me. We’re all very different, so unless you’re some sort of vagina wizard/genius, it’ll take a bit for you to learn how to make me come. That’s ok. Let’s just both agree that we’re not going to stress too much about it.

Believe me when I tell you it’s not going to happen tonight. Sometimes I’m just not going to come. It’s usually not your fault, it’s just the reality of the situation.

Don't:

Ask me if I’m going to come soon. If you do that, I’ll be in my head and start down the scary “you’re not enjoying yourself” spiral. We all know how that ends…

Get annoyed at me or yourself if I don’t come. That doesn’t help, and will not make next time any easier.

Think that just because I didn’t come, it was a waste/I didn’t enjoy it/you’re not a man. Maybe it didn’t happen this time, but there’s always tomorrow morning ;)