German man discovers what you see is not what you always get

A German man, 29, has sued his 34-year old neighbour for a transgression of a very unique nature. The man says his neighbour has failed to impregnate his wife, despite providing all manner of resources.

He paid his neighbour some Sh250,000, and also made his wife available for three evenings every week for six months.

There shouldn’t be any suggestion that the woman was a turn-off; she is a former beauty queen, and secretly admired the neighbour, apparently because he had some hints of resemblance to her husband, and was a doting father to his two children. As a matter of fact, that’s what landed the man the side hustle, if one were to consider the neighbour’s offer in those terms, since it entailed some monetary gain.

It is not clear if the neighbour’s wife consented to this unusual business, or if she was even aware of it.

But after six months, during which the neighbour reportedly made 72 attempts at conception, the man decided to review the terms of engagement.

He then asked the neighbour to go for a medical – it is not clear who paid for this either, since everything is about money – but the results proved positive: the neighbour couldn’t impregnate a woman because he, too, was sterile.

As for the miracle of their two wonderful children, the neighbour’s wife confided she had sought external assistance. The neighbour has defended his (unfruitful) action, saying there were no guarantees at all; he just committed to give an “honest effort.”

In any case, the neighbour hadn’t been asked to verify his health status before; it is a safe bet no sane judge can entertain such a claim because he got the job on “as is” basis.