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The good, bad and ugly side of Kenyan women

The Good of Kenyan women

THE GOOD

It was English playwright William Congreve who in his 1697 play, The Mourning Bride, wrote the eternal lines: “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.”

The phrase rings true for Kenyan men who have seen intimacy dry and wither in front of their love-starved rheumy eyes. Long gone are the days of Grandpa Thiong’o, when a couple started out with nothing but a razor-thin mattress, smoky kerosene stove, one sufuria, a spoon and two plastic cups.

City women are also not interested in ‘potential’ anymore. You have either made it or not. No half measures. No wonder, the recent story about a woman who bought her hubby a Sh10 million fuel guzzler shocked many. Which woman does that? Is she insane? This was a first, clearly!

We all now how the Kenyan woman’s mind operates. I mean, how many times has a woman volunteered to buy a man a drink, let alone fuel his car? This week, The Nairobian chronicles the good, the bad and the ugly side of Kenyan women.

The good, bad and ugly The Sh10 million ride A Kenyan woman gifting her husband with a car worth Sh10 million got the country talking. Photos and a video of the surprise have been making rounds on social media since last Saturday. Laura Akunga-Muriithi surprised her husband of one year, Mark Mwenje, with a Land Cruiser VX for his 30th birthday.

Laura also expressed her love for her man on her Facebook page: “To the most amazing 30-year-old I know, my husband, my best friend, my ride or die, number one in my life. Here’s to another happy 30-plus years full of fond memories with our families and friends. Here’s to wives spoiling their husbands because they deserve the very best and they are truly the better side of us. At least for me, he brings out the BEST in me. He is literally my better half. Happy 30th birthday babe.”

This show of love had many men challenging their women to similarly spoil them instead of always waiting to be treated like the queens they’re not. On St Valentine’s Day this year, Cynthia Nyamai, the PR practitioner treated the man in her life to the ‘Night of the Diamonds’ at the Villa Rosa Kempinski’s Presidential Suite.

The treat cost Sh2.34 million. “I took up this offer because men go through so much pressure in life. So, this year, I decided to treat my man and let him know he can sit back coz I got this baby!” she said.

No dowry for me

Marriages between the Luo and Kikuyu have always been atypical and outrageous even over 50 years after independence. Now, imagine a 26-year-old Virginia Wambui declaring her intentions to marry SM Otieno in the early 1960s. Inter-marriages were unheard of. That theirs was between a young Luo lawyer without a family name but had ‘prospects,’ and she was from the respected Waiyaki family among the Kikuyu, made matters frosty.

The Luo Council of Elders disapproved of Wambui and Otieno’s marriage. Blaine Harden writes in Africa:

Dispatches from a Fragile Continent that Wambui, not wanting to be ‘owned,’ took advantage of a 1931 statuette, the African Christian Marriage Act, under the colonial Marriage

Act, and decreed that SM Otieno’s family were not to pay any bride price to her family...or any other marriage rituals performed.

Wambui’s family was not enthusiastic, but it swallowed its collective pride and attended their nuptials in 1963 at the cusp of uhuru. No member of Otieno’s family attended the wedding. Wambui did not give two hoots and went on to manage her husband’s law firm as he made a name, making fools of clueless Kenya policemen appearing as witnesses for prosecution.

Wambui Otieno who died in 2010 stuck by SM Otieno until death did them part when he died in December 1986.

The bad of Kenyan women

THE BAD

Out is nje

In February, The Nairobain exclusively reported the woes of a businessman who was kicked out of his Sh15 m matrimonial home in Karen after a bitter spat with his wife. The wife had Milimani Children’s Court Senior Principal Magistrate Ann Nyoike throw his estranged hubby out of his matrimonial home and have monitored visitations with his children.

The matter came into public focus after the wife received an eviction orders on January 30 and descended on their matrimonial home in Karen in the company of police and carried away property in the house.

In her ruling dated January 30, Nyoike had ordered that the man be ejected from his matrimonial home to allow his wife to live with the children. The man was to have restricted access, while the orders were to be enforced by the Karen Police OCS and the Securex Security’s Chief Executive Officer.

In a sworn affidavit, the man stated that his wife of 19 years left their matrimonial home seven months earlier.

Sh200 million dowry and a ‘shinde’

Also to face a woman’s wrath was businessman Madatali Chatur who was taken to court over a matrimonial case filed against him by controversial politician, presidential contender Nazlin Umar who sued him in 2011 claiming he married her under Islamic Sharia Law in 2010, and thus sought over Sh200 million from the tycoon.

But Chatur denied marrying the politician. When she filed the case, Nazlin told the court that Chatur had promised to pay Sh200 million as dowry and a Mercedes Benz. Nazlin wants Chatur to pay her on the basis that he took over all her liabilities and responsibilities when he married her.

She accused the businessman of abandoning his responsibilities of upkeep after marrying her. She is laying claim to several properties owned by Chatur. The properties include New Muthaiga Shopping Mall and Diamond Plaza. The politician said that Chatur had failed toprovide her with care, love and support.

Chatur has denied all the claims and accused Nazlin of being an extortionist. The businessman says the claims of dowry and gifts by Nazlin are false. The case by Nazlin, he argues, is intended to malign and scandalize him.

I can tolerate wife, but not “her young mannerless boyfriend”

Another sad story broken by The Nairobian was the messy affair that rocked former legislator Raphael Tuju’s marriage. The former Information and Communication Minister filed for separation after 27 years of marriage.

In a sworn affidavit, Tuju said he could no longer live with his wife Ruth Akinyi Wanjare, for openly cheating on him with a young GSU officer, Anthony Ogunda. His other allegations were that Ruth was abusive and violent in the Judicial Separation Case No 33 of 2013 filed at the High Court in Nairobi.

Tuju and Ruth got married on November 15, 1986, and together, they have three children. In his petition, Tuju claimed Ruth has gone as far as bringing Anthony to his home in Karen, and at one point, rented an apartment for him in Ngong.

In seeking separation, Tuju offered Ruth a monthly maintenance allowance of Sh200,000 as well as paying a Sh180,000 car loan in two monthly installments of Sh90,000.

He expressed fear that if she I given more money, she would use it to “maintain her jobless young

man.” He also offered to pay for any medical bills her wife may incur. In the sworn affidavit, Tuju noted that he could bear his wife’s affair, but could not tolerate “her young disrespectful and mannerless boyfriend.” Anthony Ogunda died in mysterious circumstances in 2013.

The ugly side of Kenyan women

THE UGLY

Bring his bloodstained clothes

 In June 2013, a Githurai woman, Faith Wairimu Maina, hired hitmen to kill her husband of 15 years. Investigating officers told the court how she paid the hitmen a down payment of Sh40,000 and demanded that they show her his bloodstained clothes to confirm the husband’s death before paying the balance of Sh160,000.

It also emerged in court that this was the second time that the woman, who runs a kiosk in Nairobi’s Zimmerman area, was attempting to have her husband, John Muthee, killed after an earlier mission flopped.

The would-be assassins developed cold feet despite the Sh40,000 down payment. Muthee is a businessman who sells macadamia.Wairimu pleaded guilty to hatching the plot to kill the father of her two children and paying the money when she was arraigned before Principal Magistrate Patrick Ndegwa.

Muthee later withdrew the case, saying they had settled the matter out of court. Knifi ng out ‘transformers’ Anne Njeri King’ori faced charges of assaulting and inflicting bodily injuries on her husband at Kiamariki village, Nyeri County, where she allegedly severed her husband’s manhood.

Police stated that Njeri, on June 4, 2015, unlawfully assaulted Daniel King’ori. Njeri denied the charges before Nyeri Chief Magistrate John Onyiego and was granted a Sh20,000 bond until June 24 when the case will be heard.

She allegedly committed the offence after her husband arrived home late and found condoms in her drunk husband’s pockets. King’ori was rushed to Nyeri Level Five Hospital, where he is receiving

treatment. The accused could not raise the bond money and was taken to King’ong’o Prison.

Two years in jail for handbag with lip balm

A man who was framed by his girlfriendin a theft case was freed by the High Court on June 24 after two years in jail.Sammy Waithaka had been accused by Mary Rimi of stealing her handbag during a confrontation in a bar, prompting his arrest and subsequent conviction by a Kerugoya court.

The Court of Appeal found that Waithaka, who was also Mary’s landlord, had been wrongly convicted. He is said to have differed with the girlfriend after he allegedly declined to refund Sh50,000 deposit she had paid in advance for a shop he had leased to her.

The lady is said to have stormed out of the bar in anger after the quarrel, leaving the purse behind. Waithaka told the court that he took the bag and followed Mary only for him to be accused of handling

stolen property. The purse is said to have contained Sh51,000 and lip balm. In his ruling, Justice Richard Limo set Waithaka free, noting that the prosecution had flouted procedure as he was taken to court before a formal complaint was filed.

 

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