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Dear Coleen
For 15 years my marriage has been sexless. I’ve always wanted to have sex with a friend – we recently stayed at her house and she came out of her bathroom wearing a see-through nightie which didn’t leave much to the imagination.
I found it very arousing. Because I’m of a certain age and haven’t had sex for a long time would I still need to wear a condom? I have thought about seeing a prostitute but the thought of wearing a condom puts me off, as I have never worn one.
Coleen says
You don’t say how old you are but there are plenty of men “of a certain age” knocking out babies with younger girlfriends. It’s not just about the risk of pregnancy – it’s about protecting yourself from infections, which you can pick up at any age.
I think you have got your priorities wrong – you have to deal with the sexless marriage first, not the condom dilemma.
Going without sex for 15 years is a long time and you clearly still have a sex drive. If you want to reignite your sex life then be honest with your wife and tell her you still get aroused and have fantasies.
If her answer is that you have to look for it somewhere else, then you have to discuss whether you stay – and have an arrangement where you both agree you’re free to sleep with other women – or whether you go your separate ways.
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