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Revealed: 10 tricks witchdoctors use to con desperate Kenyans

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Witchcraft in Kenya

Using a phone number I copied from a poster, I made a call to a witchdoctor. First off, the traditional healer was reluctant to give his exact physical address. He asked me to go to Nairobi’s Kawangware estate where he sent someone to pick me up.

On our way, I couldn’t help but notice the humble environment in which the man with ‘supernatural powers’ lives. Why can’t he do some abracadabra and get himself a home at a leafy address? I mused.

At the reception, I found a couple of people, with various problems, also waiting to be served. When my turn came, I was ushered into the dimly-lit room.

The witchdoctor, a bearded, barefoot, rotund man was dressed in traditional regalia, complete with feathered headgear decorated with beads.

Consultation fee

He first asked for a consultation fee of Sh500. After lying to him that my husband had stopped loving me and, in fact, left me for another woman and that I wanted him back, he began nodding sympathetically. You would think he really cared!

He began the work by shouting, supposedly to spirits from whom he was seeking divine guidance.

He asked my place of birth, age and other general questions about my supposed marriage and husband. He later told me to grab some shells he had on a tray and gently throw them on the floor as he keenly observed how they scattered.

“The two are madly in love. You cannot get him back,” he roared, as he alternately stroked his goatee and lightly tapped on a gourd. Before I could throw in a word, he quickly added: “However, the spirits can help loosen her grip on him. That is a lot of work”.

Solution to all problems

He demanded more money, saying the materials required for the ritual had to be procured in Zanzibar. “See these things (pointing at assorted witchcraft-related paraphernalia)? You need such. These ones belong to another client who was here last week. You need to add another Sh6,000 for us to import them for your ritual,” the witchdoctor said, boasting that he has solution to almost all problems.

I told him I didn’t have enough money and asked to leave so I could get some more. He became unhappy and reduced the price. I said I didn’t have it. He insisted I give any amount I had on me. I stuck to my guns. He became angry. He became skeptical, doubting I would return.

He called his assistant, the guy who had picked me at the stage, and asked him to go with me to collect the money. I insisted on going by myself, promising to come back.

Talking to spirits

But the witchdoctor got pissed off and accused me of having visited other witchdoctors, claiming that the spirits had told him that and are not happy.

He insisted I give what was available, threatening that the spirits would cause me to have a road accident and die if I left “just like that”. Thankfully, I managed to convince them that I would return in an hour’s time.

At yet another witchdoctor’s shrine in the same neighbourhood, I changed my problem. The traditional healer was well known for his efficiency in healing almost everything, or so his poster claimed.

He ordered me to sit on floor. I told him I had a job, but my money always run out before I could do anything meaningful with it. I asked him to help me correct the anomaly and also get me a promotion.

Smelly bones

He asked me to empty my handbag. I poured the contents on the floor as he keenly looked at them, like a scientist would do to specimen in an experiment, keen to observe and record the results.

He later put smelly bones in the bag and shook it vigorously over my head, all in the name of performing a spell. He chanted incantations, and sprayed saliva in my face while at it.

While staring at me, he claimed he could see the man standing in my way to success. “He is jealous of you. But the spirits can deal with him.

However, some paraphernalia has to be fetched from Tanzania,” he said. Interestingly, like the previous one, he asked for more money.

I immediately knew he was in business, and like his colleague, was making a killing. If the number of people at his reception was anything to go by, his business was booming.

I made excuses and left, promising to return. Not surprisingly, he was reluctant to let me go. He insisted I leave whatever amount I had as deposit.

Since then, he has been calling asking whether I have got the money and when I plan to visit him.

Remedy for lost love

At my next witchdoctor’s den in Nairobi’s Ngara area, I said my lover was drifting away and asked the healer to help me get him back. He put his hands on my head like he was blessing me. He examined my palm, loudly asking the spirits if the case was manageable.

As expected, the spirits supposedly told the man it was possible...an answer he repeated loud. But like all others, besides the consultation fees, he wanted more money.

Generally, most of the witchdoctors intimidate their clients, claiming to have mysterious insight into their lives. For instance, during my visits, most of the traditional healers claimed to be aware of the fake problems I had. Others always tell clients what they want to hear and in the process con them.

Gullible Kenyans

One can only wonder how many gullible Kenyans fall for their tricks and get conned. Witchdoctors, in their adverts, boast their ability to sort out every problem from divorce to relationship breakdowns, financial crises, alcohol abuse, infertility and even employment issues.

That a big number of Kenyans remain superstitious is no secret. There are many other problems Kenyans still believe are occasioned by witchcraft.

Take death for instance. Among some Kenyans, nobody just dies, they must have been killed. Whether the death was a result of a fatal accident, a long-battled terminal illness, or even a terrorist attack.

There will always be a connection to how someone bewitched the deceased and made sure they bid the earth goodbye.

Sometime back, Kenyans used to blame disability on curses from their forefathers. But over time, disability has been linked to witchcraft, whether congenital or acquired through various causes.

Even mothers who never took their children for vaccination have the audacity to point fingers when their children become disabled say due to a polio attack!

Infertility, stillbirths

Other problems such as infertility, barrenness, stillbirths and miscarriages are blamed on witchcraft. Inability to conceive and bear children is a painful experience as those affected will go to any lengths to get children - procreation is one of the main functions of human beings. While this is caused by various medical conditions, some known and others unknown, some Kenyans will tell you that those in this situation have been bewitched!

Poor performance in class

When children perform poorly in school, it’s common to hear a Kenyan blame it on witchcraft. I think a product can only be as good as the raw materials.

Now here we have one parent who dropped out of school in Standard Six, while the other one went up to Standard Eight and performed dismally. Surely, what do they expect.

In rural Kenya, when children score bad grades in exams, you’re likely to hear ignorant parents talk about how they suspect a neighbour took their children’s books and laid them under a snake or a frog!

Poor farm yields too, are blamed on witchcraft. Some Kenyans are poor at agriculture. One field is used to plant maize and beans year in year out. With time, the soil nutrients wear out and the harvests fail.

Poor farm yields

So when their hardworking counterparts adopt better farming practices and get better yields, the lazy lot will quickly point out that they were bewitched.

“Someone walked into my farm naked at night, chanting some slogans..they dug up some soil and made a bed for their snake with it to ensure I harvest nothing,” one would be heard saying.

When some Kenyan’s businesses fail, they always have someone to blame. They will always point at a competitor: someone running a similar business for their woes. “Some fellow somewhere must be jealous of me.

‘‘He has even bewitched me and that is why I am not succeeding in the business as he gets all my customers,” such a fellow would complain.

Unstable marriages

Heck, marriages too are not witchcraft-proof. When the marriage is stable, one of the partners has ‘bewitched’ the other using kamutii.

If the couple is peaceful, the woman is considered to have ‘sat’ on the man by ‘putting him in a bottle’ as happens in Nigerian movies. In other cases, if the man always sides with the wife even against his own family, it is always said ‘alimkalia chapati’.

Then again when someone’s marriage is unstable, for instance if a man keeps on disagreeing with his wife and remarries, it will all be blamed on witchcraft. Methinks we give these witches, if they exist, too much credit.

I think that is how some people earn a living in this cruel, crude world. To show how superstitious Kenyans are, some even wear superstitious wrist and waist bands, perform rituals when they buy new cars, keep bones in their homes and plant certain trees in their compounds to ‘protect’ them against witchcraft. Sigh!!

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